


Shattered

by Loopstagirl



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:58:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 29,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loopstagirl/pseuds/Loopstagirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He thought he loved him. He thought he knew who he was and what he wanted. He was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Camelot_Drabble: Picture Prompt: Bleeding Heart

“You love me, don’t you?”  
  
“You know I do.” Merlin smiled softly as he finally got to utter the words that he had been hiding for so long. He was sure that the prince knew how he was feeling, the lingering touches, the longing glances...it had all been a bit of a giveaway how he was feeling, but to be able to admit those feelings... They were safely shut away in Arthur’s chambers after a meeting with Uther had left the prince in a foul mood. Merlin hadn’t been present, but he knew enough about Arthur to know when his shoulders were set like that, it was never a good sign. It was why he had felt stupidly proud when Arthur had let him massage the tension away before slowly standing and running a finger down his cheek.

 

“And you would do anything to please me?” Eyes shining with adoration and trust, Merlin nodded.

  
“I would give my life for you.” He whispered, daring to take Arthur’s hand himself as the royal smiled at him.

  
“Good. Now strip and bend over.”  
  
“ _What?”_

 

“You heard me, Merlin, it’s time we may a proper servant out of you. Having you serve me on your knees the way you should is something that I should have done years ago. And seeing you like that would make me happy. You want to make me happy, don’t you?”

  
“Arthur, please...” Merlin implored, making to grab at Arthur’s hand as the prince snatched it away from his grasp. “I don’t know what your father said to you, but we can make it better, we can...”  
  
“The only way we can make it better is for you to do as you are told.”

  
“Arthur...”  
  
“That’s _Sire_ to you.” Before Merlin had the chance to even flinch away, Arthur’s right hand had risen to his left shoulder and he brought it snapping across Merlin’s face, backhanding him hard. Tasting blood, Merlin felt his head reeling as he tried to think through the pain and confusion. Compared to the almost tender note in Arthur’s voice before, this had been nothing more than cold and hating. As ashamed as he was to admit it afterwards, Merlin truly thought that he would be able to still get through to his prince. Rather than lose absolutely everything, he opted for fighting with his words rather than his magic.

  
“Sire, what is it?”

  
“I gave you an order.”

  
“As if I was going to obey one like...Arthur! Stop! Stop it, no, I don’t want...”  
  


“Shut up, Merlin.” Arthur growled. One arm snaked around the slender man’s waist as he pulled Merlin flush against him, ignoring the way his servant’s hands were pushing against his shoulders, trying to create some sort of space between their bodies. His other hand grabbed the back of Merlin’s neck, pulling him in as he fiercely attacked his lips, biting down in order to force entry. Merlin was fighting back, trying to force Arthur out and away, and eventually, the prince did pull back.  
  
“What the fuck is wrong with you, I thought this was what you wanted?”

  
“This was the last thing that I wanted.” Even though he was still being held against Arthur, Merlin managed to raise his hand and shakily wipe the back of it across his bleeding lips. “Arthur, please, listen to me....”

  
“Be silent or I will have your tongue.” Shocked, Merlin’s mouth closed, but he couldn’t stop himself from crying out as Arthur’s hands began to grope him furiously.

  
“Stop, Arthur, please, stop it, _please_ , you don’t want to do this...” Apparently that had been the wrong thing to say. Arthur shoved the servant away from him, hard, and Merlin cried out in pain as his wrist collided with the edge of the table as he tried to break his fall. Still trying to correct his balance, he didn’t see Arthur move until the hands were back on him once again.

  
This time, both of Arthur’s hands went to his waist, the prince growling under his breath as he tugged violently on the lacing to Merlin’s breeches. Rather than simply untying them, he ripped them from the fabric, openly laughing as Merlin tried to cover himself even as Arthur pushed them down past his knees.

 

“I know you want me, Merlin. So shut up and fucking let me give you what you wanted. Such a loyal servant, I can only reward you with what you deserve for such love and devotion.”  
  
“Stop it, please...” Unable to believe that this was indeed the man he had fallen in love with and sworn to protect, Merlin’s mind went blank of anything he could use in order to save himself from what he was vehemently denying was about to happen. Even when Arthur grabbed his hips, spinning him around and slamming his upper body down across the table, Merlin refused to accept reality.

  
One of the prince’s hands were pinning his own over the smooth wooden surface whilst the other worked him open. It didn’t matter, he was too tight, it was too soon when Arthur’s cock slammed into him, and Merlin didn’t think he had ever screamed as much as he had in that moment, feeling his heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

 

It was Uther. That was what Merlin was telling himself as he desperately tried to block out the feel of Arthur thrusting deep within him, groaning as he finally spilled his release. The King had done something to upset Arthur...

 

...But when the warlock found himself forced to his knees the following night, Arthur’s breeches already pushed down to his knees and that mocking smile in place as he claimed he was rewarding Merlin’s love, the servant knew he had it mistaken. He had just been blind to who Arthur was, what he was protecting.

  
And now, because of damn destiny, he had no way out and had to feel his heart bleed and scream every night.


	2. No where to run.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His posture made one thing clear: there was no escape.

He had to run. He had to get out of Camelot, far away from princes and destinies that were using him as nothing more than their fuck toy. He was used and cast to one side, and three days after Arthur’s initial assault, Merlin knew that it was never going to end. Arthur had a gleam in his eye that was taking hold, caressing the prince’s soul. Merlin had once sworn to himself that he would follow Arthur anywhere. But now he knew. The road Arthur was travelling down now was not one that he could follow.

 

Hastily stuffing his belongings in his bag as fast as possible, Merlin knew he didn’t have much time. Gaius was already suspicious, and if he caught Merlin trying to run, he would no doubt attempt to talk the warlock out of it. Merlin would feel duty bound to explain to the old man why he had to go, and that was something he could not do. Not only because of the time that it would take, but because he knew it would break the physician’s heart. After all that he had done for Merlin, that was not something the warlock could allow to happen.

  
“Going somewhere, are we?” The voice made Merlin freeze and he couldn’t deny the slight whimper that left him as he slowly turned around. Sure enough, Arthur was standing there, anger written on every inch of his face.  He was leaning against the door, arms folded impressively over his chest. His posture made one thing clear: there was no escape. “And there I was thinking you were learning your place.”  
  
“Arthur, please...”

  
“Just begging me for it now, aren’t you? Knew you were such a slut for me, Merlin, my only little whore. Bend over the bed. Not sure you are worthy enough to take _in_ it yet.”

 

“Please... Who are you?” Merlin whispered, staring in horror as Arthur came closer. He didn’t understand where such a change had come from, what could have made Arthur snap like this. Unless... but surely he would have noticed... there was no way that Arthur could be enchanted without him knowing, could there? In the few seconds he spent deliberating, Arthur had closed the gap between them, grabbing at Merlin’s scarf and pulling him forward.

  
“I’m your master in all things.” He breathed hotly in Merlin’s ear, his hands already beginning to digest the warlock of his clothing even as Merlin just stood there, mind whirling. It was only when Arthur’s teeth bit down hard on a nipple did he jerk, pulling his mind from possible spells onto what was actually happening. One of Arthur’s hands was freeing his straining erection as his mouth set to work bruising Merlin’s now colourful skin. Somewhere along the way, he had stripped his servant, yet Merlin had been so clouded with terror and mind whirling theories that it was as if he hadn’t even feel it happening.

  
“Stop it!” Merlin shouted, no longer caring who would hear him. Knowing that he had the possible advantage whilst Arthur’s mind was clouded with lust, he shoved forcibly backwards at the man, trying to put some space between them. Arthur’s answering punch sent Merlin spinning to one side, landing in a heap over the bed. Realising he was now precisely where Arthur wanted him to be, Merlin tried to leap up with a curse.

 

But Arthur had moved. He had somehow shoved down his breeches, and as much as Merlin bucked and fought, it took the muscular prince no effort at all to hold one hand on the back of Merlin’s neck, keeping him down whilst the other lifted the warlock’s hips to an easier angle.

 

“I should punish you for that,” Arthur growled, his voice low and threatening, and Merlin could do nothing but whimper as he felt the edge of Arthur’s dick nudging at him. The prince hadn’t prepared him in the slightest this time, and somehow, Merlin knew what was about to happen was going to be far worse than anything before. Blindly, he let his hand drift between them and grabbed hold of Arthur’s cock. He striped his hand along it and it was enough for the blond to pause, a gasp of pleasure escaping from him even as he tried to hold Merlin down.

  
“Knew it...knew you were desperate, come on, just like...fuck! Yes, Merlin, you...yes, _fuck_!” Merlin moved his hand faster, unable to believe that he was giving his rapist a handjob. But it was making Arthur pause, it was stopping the pain... Able to think straight past the fear that had made his mind go hazy ever since Arthur had made his presence known, Merlin knew what he had to do. He let his magic build up inside him even as he felt Arthur shuddering in his grasp, and in one wild movement, turned.

 

His eyes blazed golden and the magic erupted from him. But he had chosen the wrong moment. Arthur had surged forward at that very moment, intending to bite down on the back of Merlin’s neck. Instead, their lips crashed together, and for a moment, the magic faltered. Despite hating Arthur with his very being right now, Merlin was realising that it was harder to fall out of love than it was in it. His body reacted to the kiss, his magic losing the intent as it wavered. Merlin managed to force it into obeying him once more, but Arthur saw the change coming.

  
Even as the prince was blasted across the room and landing awkwardly against the wall, out cold, Merlin’s own vision was swimming. Rather than taking the chance to back away, Arthur had used his split second warning in order to bring his fist crashing against the side of his victim’s head. Merlin took one staggering step towards the door before the ground came rushing up to meet him and fell, as unconscious as his master.

 

Just before he completely blacked out, Merlin had a feeling his troubles were only just beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t run, Merlin. I’ll find you and make you pay. Come to my chambers at dusk.”
> 
> And with those words, Arthur strode out as if nothing had happened, leaving Merlin in a crumpled heap in his own bedroom.

His head was throbbing in a way that Merlin knew had nothing to do with being knocked out. Instead, it was fuzzy, making him feel almost sleepy. He made to move, and it was then that his eyes flew open with a gasp. The first thing that he saw was that Arthur was standing in front of him, an almost amused expression on his face. The next thing that made itself known was the fact that he was bent over his small table, wrists tied to each corner. He bucked up violently, trying to force magic to come to his aid, but then the third and final thing made itself known.

 

His own neckerchief was stuffed in his mouth and tied around his head, gagging him. As Merlin breathed in deeply as he struggled, he realised that was what was causing the fuzziness. It had been drugged with something, and through the clouded mist that was his mind, his magic was nowhere to be found.

 

“So, Merlin…magic?” Merlin could only whimper, his head craned up as he stared at Arthur in fear. Like this, he was vulnerable. He couldn’t use his magic, meaning he couldn’t defend himself. He couldn’t stop Arthur from raping him again, or calling the guards, or having him executed on the spot. The prince seemed to read something in his expression and he laughed, his thumb tracing Merlin’s bottom lip.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to turn you into my father.” Merlin felt his eyes go wide. It was everything that he had ever hoped for…and that just made it even worse.

 

“Instead, I’m just going to have your swear to use it to serve me.” Merlin frowned, sensing that there was a catch there somewhere, but Arthur didn’t enlighten him, only continuing to smirk.

 

“But right now, you aren’t going to fight me. You aren’t going to use magic against me, you aren’t going to stop me from doing what I want to you.” Arthur moved out from Merlin’s eyeline, and the warlock found himself craning his head around to see what was happening. Tears sprang into his eyes as he realised that Arthur had moved behind him once again, palming his steadily growing erection with his hand.

  
“If I want to ravish you here and now, I will. If I call for you in the night, you will come. You won’t run, you won’t struggle. When I’m satisfied I can trust you again, we will get your magic to bind itself in the oath to me. But right now, I don’t trust you with it. But I do trust your caring nature.”

 

Merlin swallowed awkwardly behind the gag, fruitlessly tugging on the bindings that were keeping his hands stretched out in front of him and almost comically displaying him. He tried twisting and pulling, but nothing gave in the slightest. Arthur only laughed, watching his struggles for a long moment before running a hand down Merlin’s back, causing him to shudder.

  
“You aren’t going to resist me, Merlin. And do you know why?” Before Merlin knew what was happening, Arthur had removed the gag. But the drug had got too deep into his system, magic was still firmly off the agenda now and he could only let out an explosive breath as Arthur moved back in front of him.

 

“Because I know how much you care about Gwen. After all, if I don’t have you, I might have to find another servant to take your place.” Arthur prised his mouth open, making Merlin swallow down his cock even as he continued to speak in a calming manner.

  
“And imagine if she got with child? Do you know what my father does with whores like that? He lets the entire army have their turn. Do you think she would look good, all spread open for the men?” Arthur’s cock swelled as he spoke and Merlin almost choked. The prince’s hand came to rest on the back of his head as he guided his pulsing member in and out of the tight heat that was Merlin’s mouth.

 

“Maybe I should let them have you. But then again, this view is exclusively mine. Who knew, all that power you clearly have…” Arthur drew out again, keeping his dick hovering just in front of Merlin’s face as he did so and grinning as Merlin continued to struggle. Arthur simply pushed the gag back in at the same second that Merlin felt some clarity return to him.

 

“All that power, all helplessly pinned under me. Mine to control…” Without warning, Arthur had moved again, and in one fierce thrust, embedded himself in the warlock’s arse. Merlin practically howled around the gag, feeling the table rock with the force of Arthur’s thrusts as the prince’s hands came forward to rest by his head.

  
“You’re mine, Merlin. Soon, even your magic will recognise that I am its master. Your only thought will be how you can please me, none of this ridiculous notions of struggling or telling me that I’m not myself.”  
  


Arthur finally fell silent, his breathing coming in fierce grunts as he took his warlock once again, ignoring the way that Merlin had almost gone limp under him. Arthur’s words were crushing his soul even as his body was causing the physical damage. Merlin wasn’t sure whether it was quicker this time, that Arthur was so much on edge he had been unable to hold himself back, or whether the servant was just getting used to it, but it seemed like no time at all until the prince slammed in, grunted and stilled. Merlin felt a rush of relief shoot through him as Arthur pulled out and straightened up, especially the way he then fixed his breeches once again.  
  
Trying to ignore the burning pain in his backside, Merlin watched Arthur closely as he moved back around the table, but the prince only unfastened the bindings holding Merlin in place. He hadn’t realised how much had been resting on his wrists as he simply slithered to the floor, pulling away the gag once again as he did so.

 

“Don’t run, Merlin. I’ll find you and make you pay. Come to my chambers at dusk.”

 

And with those words, Arthur strode out as if nothing had happened, leaving Merlin in a crumpled heap in his own bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

The meeting had gone far better than Merlin had been expecting. It had taken him some time to be able to pick himself up of the floor and stop his head reeling and backside burning from the latest attack. Even when he was standing, he had simply stood there in shock, really not knowing what was going on. There simply _had_ to be something wrong with Arthur, Merlin knew full well how he felt about Gwen. He might have been using her as a threat to get his servant to behave, but Merlin refused to believe that he would hurt her.

  
Even more determined now to find out what was going on than he had been before Arthur’s latest attack, the warlock had shakily washed his face and straightened his clothes before collapsing onto the side of his bed, his body shaking. He only just pulled himself together in time to reach Arthur’s chambers as the sun began to set, not even wanting to comprehend what the prince would do to him if he was late. He had knocked, waiting with baited breath until Arthur had bid him to enter, and slipped into the room, his heart pounding uncomfortably hard. Arthur had been lying on his bed, his hands folded behind his head and Merlin’s mind had gone wild about what he would be expected to do next.

  
As it was, nothing. Arthur had simply listed Merlin’s new chores for him in a bored sounding voice. He sounded like he was doing something as simple as inspecting the guard, not ruining someone’s life. He explained how Merlin was expected to suck Arthur off every morning without saying a word and let the prince fuck him however he wanted every evening, not to mention making himself readily available for any point during the day when Arthur felt the need to relieve any stress. Merlin could only stand there, listening in mind-numbing shock at the casual way that Arthur spoke.

 

But what made his flesh really crawl wasn’t the way Arthur spoke about how he was going to rape him time and time again. It was when he spoke about Merlin’s magic. A patronising tone had entered his voice, mocking and cruel as he expressively ordered his servant to not even think of resisting or using his magic to make Arthur stop. The prince made it quite apparent that if he did that, someone else would simply have to take Merlin’s place whilst the warlock was hauled off to be executed. Arthur then went on to speak about a ritual that he had heard about that could be used to bind someone’s magic to another and force it to obey their will. Apparently, as soon as he had finalised the details, that was what they were going to do.

  
Then just like that, he dismissed Merlin. Despite knowing that he had to somehow search Arthur’s room in order to see if there was anything in there that could be making him behave like this, Merlin had fled. He didn’t make it back to Gaius’, but instead leant shakily against a wall halfway there, using the stonework in order to prop up his violently trembling body. It was only the sound of approaching footsteps that snapped Merlin back into reality, and before he knew what he was doing, he was running.

 

He ran as fast as he could, and didn’t stop running until he was deep in the forest. Covered in sweat, his body heaving, Merlin rested one hand shakily against a tree. Before he could even comprehend what was happening, he had vomited spectacularly, his body trying to purge itself of all that had happened. He knew that he couldn’t stay out here for long, the chances were that Arthur would call him at some point in the night in order to show off the new power that he had over the warlock, but Merlin just needed time.

  
Time to think, time to process what was happening. Arthur spoke about binding his magic to him, and Merlin knew that once that happened, he was going to be in even bigger trouble than he already was. He had to do something in order to make it easier on himself, something that would allow him to continue to think straight and therefore work out whatever it was that was wrong with Arthur, for he refused to believe that this was the prince he had served for all of this time. One didn’t simply change within a morning, something had happened. If it was something magical, Merlin knew that he somehow had to find time in order to hit the books, but no one could know. He certainly wasn’t going to ask Gaius for help, for he was not going to tell the old man what was happening, knowing that it would crush him.

 

The cool evening air helped clear Merlin’s head from the left over effects of whatever Arthur had used to drug him, and by the time he forced his still trembling legs to start taking him back towards the castle, a sense of determination had sprung up. He couldn’t stop Arthur from taking what he wanted, not without risking his friends. But he could make it easier, find a way of numbing the pain whilst he still could. And maybe if he even submitted, Arthur wouldn’t call for him as often and he would be given the chance to research what could possibly be happening.

 

But one thing was for sure. The thought that maybe Arthur had more of his father in him than Merlin cared to admit didn’t even cross his mind. Something was wrong, meaning that there was something there to be fixed. Merlin flatly refused to believe that this was Arthur treating him like this. If the problem was magical, who was better to fix it than the prophesised warlock who was not only on the receiving end of such treatment, but who was destined to make Arthur a great King.

 

Merlin felt his mind racing as that thought entered his head. Like this, Arthur wouldn’t be the Once and Future King. So maybe, just maybe, the Dragon would be able to help him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had to get to Kilgarrah. There had to be something that the dragon could do to bring his Arthur back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still being worked on, just going to be a slow process.

Merlin hurried along the corridor as fast as he could, making sure that no one could see him. He didn’t want any word to get back to Arthur about where he was going, what he was doing. After all, the prince was still adamant that he was behaving from his own feelings and emotions. Merlin wasn’t so sure. Whilst he knew it had just been a desperate hope on his behalf the first night that Arthur was just having a bad day, he knew somehow that was not the case. When the prince had started threatening others to get Merlin to do as he was told, the warlock knew something was wrong.

No matter how Arthur felt about him, he was still the prince, he still put Camelot above all else. There was no way that he would threaten her people just to find some physical pleasure with a reluctant servant. All he would have to do was glance at either a stable hand or a maid and they would fall into bed with him. This was something different, something that Merlin knew was not Arthur.

The Great Dragon was the only creature he could think of that would be able to know what sort of magic was being used on the prince. He just hoped that the noble creature didn’t speak to him in riddles again, Merlin was in too much pain, both physically and emotionally, to be able to deal with that. But in a way, he found himself hoping the dragon knew what was going on and had the answers ready for him. Merlin wasn’t sure if he would be able to bring himself to deal the creature that Arthur was taking the two halves of a whole thing a bit too literally.

But whilst it was all very well and good thinking about what he was going to say to the dragon, that first involved getting there. Something that Arthur didn’t seem to want to let happen.

Merlin had only made it halfway down the first corridor before a hand shot out of an open door. He didn’t have time to yell before he had been pulled in, the door slammed and locked and Merlin found himself pressed against the wall. The stone was hard and cold against his back, but he was more worried about the way Arthur’s hands were gripping his throat.

“Just where did you think you were going?”

“Nowhere. I wasn’t going anywhere, Arthur, I swear… let me go!”

“Let you go? I’m never letting you go again, I’m never letting you out of my sight. That’s right, Merlin, you want to be by my side always? You got your wish, my little whore.”

“No! Arthur, no, don’t! Stop, please!” Merlin’s pleas fell on deaf ears though. Arthur simply tightened his grip around the warlock’s throat, continuing to restrict his airways even as he pulled him from the wall. Merlin fought back with everything that he had, but just as he knew that he had to use magic, regardless of the consequences, Arthur let go. Choking and gasping for breath, the warlock felt his legs give way, collapsing to the ground even as Arthur followed him down.

“No, please…” It was a whimper this time as the prince straddled him, one of Arthur’s broad hands capturing both of Merlin’s in his own and holding him in the centre of his stomach. His free hand reached into his pocket, pulling out a phial.

“You’re going to drink this, Merlin.” Arthur was panting, his breath coming in harsh gasps as he clearly tried to control himself.

“No! No, I won’t!”

“Wrong answer.” There was nothing he could do. Arthur simply leant forward, using his body weight to keep Merlin’s hands trapped. One hand pulled the stopper out of the bottle, the other gripped Merlin’s face tightly. His fingers dug into the warlock’s jaw until Merlin’s mouth opened of its own accord. He didn’t have time to struggle before Arthur had tipped the contents in then proceeded to hold his hand over Merlin’s mouth and nose.

For a long moment, the warlock succeeded in holding his breath, tears running from the corners of his eyes.

But then he swallowed.

Arthur immediately backed off, and for a moment, Merlin wondered why. But then the pain hit, the agonising burn spreading throughout his body. His back arched off the ground as he screamed, almost rendering himself unconscious with the force of that one shout. His eyes flickered shut as he collapsed back down again, shivering uncontrollably as his body tried to react to what it had just been through.

“You’re going to regret denying me,” Arthur’s voice was suddenly in his ear again, and Merlin squirmed as he felt his breeches being tugged down. He had to stop this, he had to get to the dragon and find out what was wrong with Arthur. But just as he reached for the magic, another blinding flash of pain stole his breath and caused him to cry out.

“You’re not thinking of using magic again, are you, Merlin?” Arthur’s voice was sickeningly sweet as he proceeded to strip his servant, lying on top of him and crushing Merlin with his own body weight. The warlock could feel Arthur’s foot in between his legs, forcing them apart as he continued to restrict Merlin’s breathing with just his body weight.

But it wasn’t how his lungs were gasping for the space to fill properly that had Merlin gasping. It was what Arthur had said. He had been thinking of using magic again, and the pain had stolen that idea from him before it had fully formed. Making sure he didn’t let the idea fix on Arthur too much, he gently probed for his gift again. Arthur was grinning, as if he knew what Merlin was doing, as if he would know what the warlock would find. Merlin’s eyes widened in shock.  
  
“No!!”

“I told you that you were mine. I don’t even share you with the magic.”

Merlin bucked, screamed, cried and pleaded as Arthur lowered his own trousers and flipped him over. But it didn’t matter. If Arthur didn’t listen, there was nothing Merlin could do.

His magic was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Merlin found that he was shaking as he stopped by the bed, glancing down at the figure within. Despite everything, there was still love in his heart for his golden prince, and like this, Arthur looked so innocent, so perfect as he slept.

 “What’s happened to you?” Merlin whispered, using a finger to brush away a lock of hair from Arthur’s face before his eyes ran down the prince’s naked body. He knew why Arthur was sleeping like that, knew it was his way of making Merlin feel uncomfortable, to remind him of how he was now expected to wake him up. If Merlin had a choice, he would leave Arthur sleeping whilst he got out of here, looking for a way to discover what had happened.

 But he had no choice.

 The chain around his ankle saw to that, and with still no magic, he was effectively locked into Arthur’s rooms. It didn’t help that a spark of hope had flared into life again after the events of the day before. He had to cling to that, he had to believe that this wasn’t Arthur.

The prince had dragged him back, not caring whether Merlin was decent or not the day before. Merlin had spent the rest of the day kneeling on Arthur’s bed, hands shackled and bound by a chain to the top of the canopy over the bed. It kept him upright… and available for Arthur’s pleasure whenever he had wanted it. Tears had dripped helplessly down his face as he had tried to reach for his magic, only to be met by the searing pain time after time. Arthur seemed to have found it amusing for a while, but after his “toy” had almost blacked out from the agony, he had begrudgingly admitted that the potion only worked for a few days. The magic wasn’t gone, it was just temporarily blocked.

The hope must have shown in Merlin’s eyes for Arthur had quickly seen to that, slamming into him so violently that Merlin was screaming before he realised it.

But this time, when Arthur finally pulled out, panting and biting down hard on Merlin’s shoulder, something changed. Merlin was still hanging from the chains, sobs tearing from him as his limbs trembled. Arthur kneaded the flesh of his arse in a cruel mimic of a caress before climbing off the bed and disappearing. At first, Merlin thought nothing of it, he was too busy trying to control the agony lancing through places that he didn’t even know existed, let alone could feel pain. But when he finally glanced over his shoulder, it was to see the door to the anti-chamber was open.

Merlin had sniffed and tried to change position, but frozen when he heard the sound of someone violently throwing up. It was enough for his own stomach to churn, but before he could call out, there had been soft footsteps and the door had shut.

Arthur had reappeared, no different as he had forced his tongue into Merlin’s mouth and down his throat before unchaining him. Merlin had dropped to the floor, Arthur following him down and attaching a chain around his ankle, binding him to the bed. He had left simply with the instructions that he expected to be woken in the morning by Merlin’s mouth around his cock, and then was gone.

Merlin had tried to use magic again, only this time, it did render him unconscious. Just before he completely blacked out, he wildly wondered what Arthur would do to him now that his body was limp and unresisting, but then he had thought no more.

When he had awoken that morning to the sound of Arthur’s snores, it was to find a blanket covering him. He didn’t think he had been touched, but even breathing was so hard that he couldn’t be sure.

One thing he was certain of, however, was that someone else knew about what was going on. But they weren’t trying to help him, they were helping Arthur. He had been right to think that something had happened to the prince.

But now, with hope just managing to struggle feebly into life, Merlin found himself looking into Arthur’s sleeping face. With no magic, he had no idea if it was an enchantment or something else that had changed Arthur’s behaviour like this. He had no way of helping either himself or Arthur unless he had magic, or at least got Arthur to trust him enough to unchain him. And as Arthur shifted position, grunting slightly as his cock twitched even in his sleep, Merlin knew what he had to do.

He had to stop Arthur hurting him, had to stop him taking him by force and drugging him. Arthur had to think that Merlin had given in, that he was giving the prince what he wanted. It was the only way the warlock could think of that would stop him from almost blacking out every time Arthur forced himself upon his servant. Merlin knew it was only a matter of time before Arthur made good on his promise to bind the warlock’s magic to him, and after that, there would be no escape. He had to keep the prince happy.

“I forgive you.” He whispered, brushing Arthur’s hair back again. How could he not, this wasn’t Arthur’s fault. He knew that he had no proof of that, that someone could have just found the prince being violently ill and decided to help. But Merlin had to believe that something was wrong, something that he would be able to fix. He knew that he would never be able to live through this if he didn’t cling to that thought. Taking a deep breath, he shifted the covers until Arthur was completely exposed and placed his hands on the prince’s hips as he lowered his mouth to his master’s cock.

It didn’t take long for Arthur’s eyes to snap open and his hand to fist in Merlin’s hair, thrusting upwards and causing the warlock to gag, tears in his eyes. Merlin stopped sucking, but instead just let Arthur fuck his mouth, soft grunts spilling from his lips.

He was going to find a way out of this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually really dark - forced orgasm, humiliation etc. Because the last chapter was lighter, wanted to reinstate the warning - this isn't over yet.

Despite his newfound conviction that he was somehow going to stop this, Merlin knew it was partly just sheer luck that kept him alive over the next few days. Whatever Arthur had forced into him certainly was powerful, for even two days later; there still wasn’t even a flicker of magic. Merlin only managed to stop himself from completely panicking because he had seen the truth shining in Arthur’s eyes when he had admitted it was only temporary. The prince wouldn’t have told him that unless it was true, he wouldn’t have wanted Merlin to have any sort of hope.

 But hope was disappearing fast. Merlin might have stopped fighting as much, but he hadn’t stopped resisting. He wasn’t just going to take it, no matter how much he told himself that it could potentially be the only thing getting him out of this. He couldn’t just sit there, not when Arthur turned violent when even he had run out of stamina. His fists were just as harsh as his cock, and Merlin wasn’t sure there was a place that he wasn’t bruised. What scared him the most was that he was beginning to think that was true even on the inside.

 He thought that he would be able to deal with just the pain. He had been through enough over the years in order to cope. But what he wasn’t so sure about was the sheer humiliation.

 It had been two days after the drugging, two days since Merlin had found himself a prisoner in Arthur’s room, with no way of escaping from the prince’s cruelty. Arthur had just got back from training, and Merlin knew that it was not going to bode well for him how pumped with adrenaline Arthur was. He had kept his eyes down as he had helped his master out of his armour, but it hadn’t been enough. As soon as he was just down to his clothes, Arthur had yanked Merlin forward, kissing him harshly. His hands had groped the servant as he had bitten on Merlin’s lips, and as he had tried to think through the pain, Merlin had suddenly realised that Arthur was undressing him.

 Again.

“No, please…” Merlin pushed at Arthur’s chest, determined to find an excuse that would somehow keep Arthur happy. His master just snarled, pushing him away. Caught off balance, Merlin tripped over the chain around his ankle and fell against the bed, stunning himself. He had only just regained his wits when Arthur finished stripping him before forcing his servant onto his hands and knees.

"Arthur, no! Please!”

 “Shut up, Merlin.” The warlock glanced over his shoulder and let out a sob. Arthur hadn’t removed any of his own clothing, he had simply unlaced his breeches enough to free his straining cock. Without warning, he grabbed Merlin’s hips with one hand whilst fondling himself with the other. Slamming in, Arthur groaned as Merlin cried out.

“Such. A. Fucking. Slut.” Each word was punctuated with a sharp thrust and Merlin felt his arms shaking as he tried to support his weight. He didn’t have the strength to say anything back, and could only kneel there as Arthur thrust erratically into him, cursing and swearing at the warlock as he did so.

And then the door opened.

Arthur stilled, but didn’t pull out. One hand rested on the back of Merlin’s neck and he forced the warlock to look at the floor, keeping him bent over even with the prince balls deep in his arse.

“Father.”

“Arthur?”

“You always said that I was too soft, My Lord. Besides, Merlin here is a keen and eager lover, aren’t you?” Arthur rocked his hips again, changing angle, and Merlin could do nothing but gasp as the man brushed against something that immediately sent sparks through him.

“When you are done, there is a council meeting being held.”

“Of course, Sire.” Arthur rocked again, and Merlin felt tears dripping from his eyes as Arthur hit the same spot again and Merlin felt his body begin to betray him. How on earth could it believe that this was pleasure considering the sheer and utter agony coursing through him?

“What’s wrong, Merlin? Is my whore finding out what a slut he really is? How much he loves my cock being in him…”

“Arthur, I, _fuck!”_ Merlin was unable to stop himself as Arthur picked up the pace again, each thrust hitting on that spot.

 “I know how much you love it, Merlin, stop pretending.” Arthur let go of Merlin’s neck, his hand sliding between the servant’s legs. Merlin cried out as he realised that his flesh had betrayed him, his cock standing rigid and erect, throbbing every time Arthur hit that spot.

 “See? But don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” Arthur let go, holding Merlin’s hips again. He didn’t have the breath to speak as he set a punishing rhythm, rocking Merlin back and forth to meet his thrusts. Knowing he needed this to be over with, Merlin gritted his teeth and pushed back, driving himself further onto Arthur. It was enough for the prince though.

“ _Fuck!”_ With one hoarse cry, Arthur stilled, pulsing deep within the man. He pulled out and flipped over, grabbing Merlin’s hand.

 “Got to take care of my toys now, haven’t I? Why don’t you put on a show?”

 “No! Arthur, no…” Merlin bit his lip, willing his erection to disappear as Arthur forced Merlin’s hand over his own weeping cock.

“Do it, Merlin, or its back on the bed.” Merlin knew if Arthur chained him to the bed again, he was more likely to drug him for a second time. Closing his eyes, he began moving his hand, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes.

“Faster, Merlin, I know you can take it.” Biting his lip and snuffling a breath, Merlin did as he was told, his back arching slightly as he came.

“Slut.” Arthur mocked before straightening up. “Now, lick me clean, I have a council meeting to attend to.” Arthur’s eyes were glinting with amusement as he forced Merlin’s head against his groin, smirking the whole time. As Merlin sucked, not able to arouse Arthur so quickly but enough to make him grunt in pleasure, he felt it.

The smallest spark of magic.

 Not yet enough to do anything, but enough for him to realise he still had a fighting chance.


	8. Chapter 8

The spark of magic continued to grow over the next few hours. Arthur had disappeared for the council meeting, and Merlin had felt himself sagging, diving for the power that was only just out of his reach. He hoped that it would return before the prince got back, for with the returning of magic, Merlin found that his refusal to be treated like this was also returning. But considering he had the feeling that this wasn’t Arthur’s fault, he knew that he would never truly be able to lash out at his master. Arthur, however, had no such qualms, and Merlin didn’t want to know what the consequences would be if he fought back.

For hours, Merlin sat slumped on the floor. He was utterly exhausted; Arthur had been particularly active during the night. How he kept going like this only fuelled Merlin’s belief that it was a spell. Even active, fit princes didn’t have this much stamina. But even once Arthur was done, he had locked the chain around Merlin in such an awkward position that the servant hadn’t been able to get any rest anyway. Merlin refused to admit that it had been mainly because he was afraid of what Arthur might do. He wouldn’t admit that he was afraid whilst he was adamantly telling himself that this was not his prince. If that proved to be false… Then Merlin would cross that bridge when he came to it and not before.

“Please, please, please…” Muttering under his breath, Merlin sat against the bed, his eyes shut. He felt like he was searching his soul, seeking out where that spark of magic was. He knew that it wanted him to fight back, it wanted to get out of this situation as much as he did. But every time he thought he had found it, it disappeared again.

But after a considerable length of time, with his legs cramped and his back killing him, Merlin finally found the magic. Not only that, but it didn’t slither from his grasp the second he touched it. It was weak compared to the thrum of power he was used to coursing through his veins, but it was enough for the warlock to immerse himself in his power. His eyes turned gold and the lock on the chain around his ankle clicked open.

So much time had passed that Merlin knew Arthur could be returning at any moment. Shakily, he made himself decent as quickly as he could and crept to the door. Changing his mind at the last moment, he ducked out through the servant’s door. He knew that the guards wouldn’t like twice at anyone coming out from there, they were the people they saw as below them. Normally, it annoyed Merlin, but he couldn’t have been more grateful for it right now.

The journey down the corridor was one of the hardest ones that Merlin had ever done. His legs were trembling and every noise had him jumping, wondering if it was Arthur coming to get him and what the prince would do. Probably take him right here in the middle of the corridor for everyone to bear witness to. Shaking off the thought, Merlin pushed himself on.

 He almost gave his presence away when it came to the entrance to the Dragon’s cave, but fate intervened and let him slip down the cold passageway undetected. By the time he stumbled onto the small ledge, however, his strength had deserted him. Clutching the wall, Merlin realised that there was a cold sweat on his forehead and breathing was becoming increasingly difficult. He heard the beat of the wings, and the force of the air movement almost knocked him off his feet. Clinging to the rock, Merlin lent his head against it and sighed.

“You have been tainted, young warlock.”

“It’s not him, I know it’s not.” Merlin didn’t realise how much he sounded like he was pleading. If the dragon couldn’t confirm that there was a spell on Arthur, that he wasn’t acting of his own accord, then Merlin wasn’t sure what he would do. He didn’t have the strength to flee Camelot yet, not with his magic only just recovering. Arthur would find him first and…and…

“Breathe, Merlin.” Gasping for breath, Merlin found that his eyes were swimming with tears.

“Please…” he panted, his legs threatening to buckle. “Tell me it’s not him!” The dragon regarded him closely for a long moment before blinking one large, golden eye.

“It’s not him.” He said simply, and Merlin’s legs gave way completely.

“I knew it. I knew that he wouldn’t do this to me, I knew that he couldn’t. I have to save him, tell me what I have to do.”

“This is a dark magic, Merlin.”

“You think I don’t know that? Do you have any idea what he has done to me over the last week? He knows about my magic, he took it from me and kept me as his prisoner for all of this time to use as he pleases! I love him, and have to let this happen because I have to save him.”

“You know the magic is dark. But to break the spell you have to…”

“Have to what? What do I need to do?”

“I am not sure that you have the strength.”

“I’m the strongest warlock ever, please, tell me…”

“You have to take him.”

“Take him?” Merlin frowned, wondering what the buzzing noise building in his head was as he stared up at the dragon. What on earth did it mean, take him? Take him where? Maybe there was a special place that would break the spell? Merlin could do that, he was used to following Arthur off on quests…

But the dragon just continued to stare steadily down at him, sorrow almost radiating from the large creature as he held Merlin’s gaze. Understanding burst into life like a flame in the warlock’s mind and he felt horror slide down his back. He opened his mouth to protest, but the buzzing in his head was getting louder and louder. His voice didn’t want to seem to work, and he was sure that the dragon was moving towards him. He didn’t even notice that his body was steadily keeling over, but he didn’t feel anything.

He was unconscious before he hit the rocks.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin had said very little when he had come back around. The Dragon had made it perfectly clear what needed to be done. Arthur must cum, and then Merlin must follow him over the edge by spilling his seed within the prince. Merlin knew what it meant, knew that he would somehow have to overpower the prince and potentially do to him what Arthur had been doing all of this time. That thought enough was enough to make him stumble from the cave without another word, his face pale and his knees shaking.

He had got the answers that he was looking for. Only Merlin didn’t think that helped him in the slightest, he still felt just as trapped as he had done when he had gone down there. Could he do it to Arthur? Could he do it knowing that it wasn’t only himself that he was helping, but the prince as well? That it would be freeing him from whatever dark magic was making Arthur act this way? If he was completely honest, Merlin wasn’t sure that he had the strength to go through with it. His magic would make fighting back easy, but the will power to actually get them into a position where he would be able to spill within Arthur? He wasn’t sure he could do something like that, no matter what magic he was defeating.

 The choice, however, was almost taken from him when he reached the prince’s room. Rather than going in through the main door and making it more than obvious that he had escaped, Merlin slipped back in the way he had left, into the servant’s room adjacent to Arthur’s. Before he was able to go more than a few steps, however, a sound caught his attention. Stealing over to the joining door, Merlin carefully inched it open. As soon as he had done so, he knew that he wasn’t imagining things. Someone in the room was sobbing.

Holding his breath, Merlin slipped through the partly opened door, ducking down behind the changing screen and crawling to the edge of it so that he could peer around. Arthur was huddled against the wall, his back against the bricks and his knees tucked into his chest. He had his head down and buried in his arms, but it looked as if he was flinching away from something.

“ _Why hasn’t he broken yet? You were told to destroy him.”_

 “I won’t! He won’t break because I won’t let him, I won’t do it…” Arthur’s voice trailed off before he suddenly coiled in tighter, a scream escaping from him. Coming from the man who never voiced his fears, Merlin blinked in astonishment. Arthur was utterly terrified.

“Make it stop! Make them go away, I don’t…”

  _Don’t want to? You think you have a choice? Your soul is mine, and unless you deliver, I will destroy it.”_

Whispering a spell under his breath, Merlin almost groaned in relief as his magic responded. His eyes flashed and shapes appeared around Arthur. They had no distinctive form, just seeming to be shadows flocking around the prince. There was almost a golden light trickling from Arthur into the shadows and no matter how much he tried to push them away, he couldn’t escape from it.

 "Stop them, please, it hurts….”

“ _It’s supposed to. Deliver what I am owed and it will go away.”_ The voice faded away to nothing, but the shadows continued to flock around Arthur, draining the gold from him. They only vanished when Arthur suddenly slumped, and Merlin knew that the prince was unconscious. But the warlock didn’t make any move to approach him, instead slipping back out and running as fast as he could to Gaius.

There had to be another way to break this spell.

Arthur was still holding back, he was stopping Merlin from breaking because he didn’t want to destroy the warlock.

Merlin had to cling onto the hope that it meant he would be able to break this spell without having to hurt the prince.

Bursting into the physician’s chambers, Merlin didn’t even think about the fact that Gaius hadn’t seen him for days, and that Merlin would no doubt look a complete and utter state considering what Arthur had been putting him through.

“Gaius! I need you to tell me all you know about soul-eaters. Now!”

“Merlin…”

“Please, Gaius, I don’t have time.” Merlin angrily dashed the tears from his eyes as his body began to betray him. It was all very well and good believing that this hadn’t been Arthur, that he hadn’t meant what he had been doing, but Merlin had still been put through absolute hell and he wasn’t sure if it was something that he was ever going to be able to truly recover from.

“Well, they do as they say. They force their victim to live their worst nightmare, whatever that might be. They break down the barriers of the soul and slowly eat away at it, painfully drawing it out of the body in an agonising manner. The gap is then replaced with an order, a bidding for the victim to do whatever it was that the host demands. They don’t have a choice, it’s almost like they don’t know they are doing it until the host revisits to drain a piece of their soul.”

“And if they don’t do it? If they fight back?”

“Merlin, only the strongest fight back. If they resist for too long, their soul will be ripped.”

“They’ll die?”

 "No. They’ll be alive, but all they will know is terror and pain. There is no remedy. Why, Merlin? Why do you ask?”

“No…” Merlin made to say “no reason,” made to shrug it off the way he had done with all the other things that had been thrown at them in the past. Only this time, he couldn’t. He instead took one look at Gaius’s face and found that he was sobbing.

How was he supposed to save Arthur from that? Did it make it his fault that the prince was forced to hurt him? Whoever it was wanted Merlin, that much was clear. Yet Arthur was fighting, he was doing all he could to stop that from happening. But Merlin was still being abused more than his mind could handle.

What the hell was he supposed to do?


	10. Chapter 10

“So you mean to say that Arthur is being targeted by a soul-eater and that…”

“That his goal is to break me, yes.” Merlin’s voice was flat and dead as responded to his mentor’s questions. He had cried out everything that he had been holding back over the last few days. “But the dragon says that I have to take Arthur to break the spell, is that true?”

“I have heard something. If one is to reverse what the victim is being forced to do, turn the tables so to speak, then their power is broken.”

“Still doesn’t solve one thing.” Merlin refused to think about the fact that he was basically going to have to rape Arthur. Now that Gaius was agreeing and saying the same thing, he knew that his chances of getting out of it were getting slimmer by the second. Could he hurt the one he loved to save them? Merlin wasn’t sure, not considering what he was being asked to do.

“What?”

“Someone else knows what is going on, I heard them. Someone set that thing on him, someone wants me out of the way. I’m going after them first. They will pay for this.”

 “Merlin…” Gaius didn’t have time to say anything else before angry footsteps could be heard coming down the corridor. The colour drained from Merlin’s face and he barely even managed to protest as Gaius shoved him up the stairs towards his room, clearly indicating that the warlock should hide. Merlin had just managed to push the door to – not quite shutting it for fear that Arthur would hear – when the prince burst in. All signs of terror were gone, and Merlin knew they were dealing with an almost soulless Arthur yet again.

 “Where is that fucking whore?”

“Sire!” Despite being warned what Arthur was like, it was still genuine shock on Gaius’ face at the way the prince was talking about his servant. Merlin bit his lip to stop himself from crying out.

“Merlin! I know you are in here. Get your arse here right now.” The look on Gaius’ face told the warlock not to move. But Arthur took that choice from him when he suddenly grabbed hold of the old man, a knife in his hand.

“Merlin! Down here, now, or I kill him.” Gaius had gone pale, and Merlin knew they couldn’t be sure whether Arthur was bluffing or not. The prince was under orders to break him, whether he knew it or not. Everyone in the castle knew how close the servant was to his mentor, hurting Gaius would speed up destroying Merlin far more than any physical abuse was. Not being able to risk it, Merlin slowly let his door creak open. Arthur looked up with a satisfied expression.

“So that’s where my little slut is hiding. Didn’t realise you were so eager for me to take you in your own bed, Merlin.”

“Arthur…”  
  
“Shut up, old man.” Arthur let go of Gaius, forcibly pushing him to one side as he strode towards his servant. Merlin made to go to Gaius’ aid, but Arthur simply grabbed hold of his arm in an excruciating grip and yanked him back into his own bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Try something like that again, and I’ll gut the old man. I’ll make you watch as he dies, I’ll fuck you as the life leaves him and spill just as the light goes out of his eyes. Then I’ll fuck you again and again, until you are a heap. Then I’ll turn to Gwen, understand?”

“Arthur, please, you’re enchanted, I can help.” Merlin reached a hand out to Arthur, only to have his wrist twisted behind his back and Arthur’s free hand draw off his servant’s belt, fondling him as he did so.

“I thought I told you what would happen if you didn’t stop with that stupid notion.”

“It’s not stupid!” Merlin grunted as both hands were pulled behind him and bound, Arthur spinning him and forcing him to his knees at the same time. As Arthur unlaced his breeches, Merlin groaned.

“Arthur, please…”

“Oh good boy, begging for it nicely. I’ll reward that, Merlin.” The servant barely even had time to gasp before Arthur had forced himself into his mouth.

 “I’d suck good and proper if I were you, for it’s all you’re getting. Not like you can stop me, you’re nothing without your magic.”

 As he choked, Merlin suddenly realised what Arthur had said. The prince had told him that it would take a few days for the drug to wear off. It seemed, however, that the effects had stopped earlier than they were supposed to. Arthur had no idea that Merlin had his magic back. Realising that this could be the only chance he had to find a way of breaking the spell, Merlin gave Arthur what he wanted and sucked, his tongue darting out.

“Oh fuck yes! Knew that you could be trained…” Arthur’s pant increased as Merlin worked, only for the prince to suddenly grab his hair and yank him off.

“Nice try. You love it up the arse too much for me to deny you that.”

“No…”

“Get on the bed, Merlin.”

 “No!” Arthur simply rolled his eyes, grabbed Merlin by the hair and forced him, stomach down, onto the bed. Merlin squirmed as a pillow was forced under his hips and his trousers yanked down. He tried to get away as he felt Arthur shove a finger into him, but then swore violently as the prince deliberately twisted it to hit the spot that made Merlin see stars.

“No! No, stop, please…” Merlin screamed as Arthur pushed in properly, knowing that the prince was going to force him towards an orgasm again. It seemed that humiliating him just added to Arthur’s pleasure. Merlin pushed back, toppling them off the bed and trying to get away. But although he succeeded in getting Arthur out of him, his balanced betrayed him as his hands were still tied behind his back and he tripped as he made to run for the door. Arthur grabbed hold of his arm, pulling him down even as he laughed before taking hold of his cock. Merlin froze, not being sure what the prince was about to do even as the man shimmied his trousers further down his legs, his easy hold being enough to keep Merlin where he was.

 "I never knew you were so eager.” Arthur moved, forcing Merlin to straddle him. He gripped the man’s hips, lifting him into the air before slamming Merlin straight down onto his cock. As Merlin wailed, Arthur returned his grip to Merlin’s hips, rocking into him.

“Fuck, Merlin, move!” As Arthur began lifting him and forcing him back down again, Merlin knew what he had to do. Arthur couldn’t find out he had his magic back, he couldn’t know Merlin wasn’t as defenceless as he thought. If Merlin refused to break, it bought him some time to find out who was behind that. To not break, Merlin knew he had to get Arthur to back off.

Sobbing in self-hatred, he began to ride the prince.


	11. Chapter 11

“Fuck…fuck…FUCK! Urgh. You. Slut…”

Arthur’s pace was frantic and rough, his hands gripping Merlin’s hips as he practically pommelled him into the table Merlin was bent over. The servant stared blankly at the wall ahead, letting his body rock in time with Arthur’s thrusts and occasionally clenching any muscles that he had any control over in order to quicken Arthur’s release.

It had now been a week. A week in which Merlin had been attacked, raped, humiliated and held prisoner.

A week in which he had been slowly and secretly working magic to help them get through this.

Arthur didn’t notice his water turn to wine, nor the fact that he just seemed to fall asleep when he was drunk these days compared to finding himself aroused. He didn’t take into account the fact that whenever he made a move on Merlin, he was so hard it was painful, and Merlin only had to close his fist around the prince to make him come. It was the only way he could regain his strength, to stop Arthur from abusing him quite so much. It also meant that Arthur spent most of his time sated and therefore almost forgot about the fact that Merlin’s magic would have returned by now.

It also meant that Merlin had had a week of making a show of breaking. He had made sure that he had fought back to start with, but it slowly stopped as time went on. He had managed to work enough magic so even when Arthur took him like this, it wasn’t the same excruciating agony that it had been before. He was getting stronger whilst acting the submissive servant, but knew that he was no closer to proving who was behind this than he had been at the very start.

Unable to stop himself, Merlin suddenly gasped as Arthur grabbed him by the shoulder, hauling him up and practically thrusting upwards. Merlin knew he couldn’t work the magic the whole time, he had no idea if the soul-eater was still keeping an eye on Arthur’s progress. His pretence at breaking seemed to be doing the trick though, for Arthur certainly hadn’t been getting any weaker as the days passed.

“You. Whore. You. God. Damn. Slut.”

Arthur almost seemed to be in a frenzy, spinning them around without pulling out and collapsing onto the bed. Merlin just about had time to suck in a sharp breath before Arthur’s weight was crushing him. The prince’s hands were resting on his shoulders, but to Merlin’s horror, they suddenly ended up around his throat as Arthur tried to get his prick even deeper into his servant.

“No…” Merlin only had time to gasp before Arthur stole the breath from him, leaning forward and biting the back of his shoulder even as his hands constricted. Merlin dove for the magic, knowing that it was potentially the only way that he had out of this. He might not be able to get Arthur off him, but if he could make the prince spill.

“No magic this time. You think I haven’t noticed?”

Merlin froze as he suddenly realised that it wasn’t just Arthur’s hands against his throat. There was something scrunched in one of them, and before he had time to think about what it was, it was clamped firmly over his mouth and nose. Merlin was too much in a panic to think about not breathing, inhaling the fumes before he knew what he had done. It was the same drug that Arthur had first used on him when he had found out about his magic, and although Merlin felt the power slip from his grasp and his body go limp, he knew that he would stay conscious. 

  
Arthur’s pace had picked up again, almost as if he couldn’t go fast enough. When he finally came, it was practically with a roar before he collapsed onto Merlin’s back. Suffocating slightly under his dead weight, Merlin had no idea how he managed to wriggle out from under Arthur, but that was as far as his energy got him. He toppled from the bed and lay on the floor, stark naked as tears ran hotly from the corners of his eyes. After a moment, he realised that Arthur was silent and managed to cautiously push himself upwards to glance back at the bed.

Arthur was unconscious.

Making to lean over him, Merlin spun around, startled, as the door burst open. The blast of magic hit him in the chest, throwing him back against the wall faster than Merlin’s sluggish reactions could handle. He let himself crumple, knowing that with no hold over his magic, he could do nothing to stop it.

“I wanted Emrys. Looks like I just got a common whore.”

“Morgana.” Merlin’s voice was a growl and he felt his hands clench into fists despite the fact that he had no way of stopping the witch.

“Who else, Merlin?” Merlin scrambled backwards as Morgana shot a spell at him, but could do nothing as heavy chains wrapped themselves around his naked body, binding him tightly. They burnt against his skin, and he knew that there would be no getting them off.

“How could you do this to him?”

“I didn’t. You did. He knows what he has been doing this whole time. The instruction was only to break you. He manipulated your feelings for him. But have you not noticed how much Arthur got out of this? It wasn’t the magic that made him aroused, Merlin, but you. He has just raped the man he loved, and he knows it.”

“No!” Merlin tried to move forward, but hissed in pain as the chains tightened.

“And now… he’s all yours.” Morgana moved to Merlin, her hand resting on the chain and forcing agony far greater than anything Arthur could have done into the warlock. As consciousness slipped from him, he could see Arthur shaking and convulsing on the bed, someone leaning almost lovingly over him.

This time, Merlin didn’t need magic in order to see the shadows descending on Arthur.

And there was nothing he could do.


	12. Chapter 12

Merlin came around to the realisation that he was lying flat on his back on something hard. His senses were foggy and his mind was swimming, but he knew that sitting up wouldn’t be possible. Not because of the weakness spreading through his body right now, but because of the straps he could feel holding him down. Slowly opening his eyes, Merlin shivered.

After the last week, being naked shouldn’t have come as a surprise. What was more worrying was that he had no idea where he was. It seemed to be an underground vault of some sort, damp and cold. The air seemed to be heavy and Merlin forced himself not to panic, to remind himself to breathe and that everything was going to be okay. There were thick leather straps around his wrists, ankles, knees and across his chest, and Merlin knew that right now, he didn’t have the magic to break free from it.

 "So the whore awakens.”

The voice caused Merlin to turn his head, only to see Morgana standing there, a knife in her hand and a grin on her face. Arthur was standing by her side. Merlin twisted as he tried to get a better look at the prince, but felt tears sting his eyes when he actually succeeded. Arthur was staring dead ahead, not seeming to be aware of his surroundings. Morgana caught where he was looking and raised a hand, stroking Arthur’s hair.

“There is still the smallest part of him there, but not much. The soul-eater has destroyed the rest of him. But alas, I do need him to still have some essence of Arthur, or he won’t be able to perform.”

“What…” Merlin’s sentence died in his throat as Morgana used her free hand to start stroking Arthur’s cock. It only took a few moments before he started to react, yet his eyes had that same dead look in them.

“What are you doing, Morgana?”

“Arthur told you about the binding ritual? How we are going to bind your magic? You’re too powerful to kill, Merlin, but as a puppet…”

“You’ll never hold me. Magic is too emotional, you know this. You’ll never be able to hold mine and yours.”

“True. But what about someone who no longer has emotions?” She kissed Arthur’s cheek even as she continued to fondle him.

“Arthur can handle it, and he is mine, there is nothing left in him to fight me. That’s why I need that spark to still be there, to give the magic something to latch onto. Besides, he is well prepared for this ritual.” She finally stopped and Merlin swallowed to see that Arthur was rock hard.

“W-what ritual?”

“Oh, just the binding of bodies and souls. As you both cry out in pleasure, your magic will be mine.”

“Well that’s not going to happen then.” Merlin knew that the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes were making him look weak, but he didn’t particularly care anymore. All he wanted was for this to be over, one way or another.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Morgana left Arthur standing there, crossing over to the altar and running her hands gently through Merlin’s hair, kissing his forehead. “Arthur certainly knows the spot to make you scream. Or maybe that was just because Uther had been in the room. How did it feel, Merlin? Being on your hands and knees like a common whore, knowing the king was watching his son fuck you?”

Merlin didn’t answer, just shifted and glared in the opposite direction. He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing just how close to completely crippling him Arthur had managed to get over the last few days. How did she know everything that had been happening and yet he hadn’t been able to sense her. Merlin knew that he hadn’t exactly been himself lately, but that was almost scary. Could the soul-eater be why she knew so much?

“Did you know he was hard by the time he left the room? So painfully turned on by what he had seen that he had to call his own servant. Maybe I’ll lend you to him once you are mine, get you to give the old man a night of pleasure. Or maybe it was Arthur he was turned on by, people always say that he looks like his mother. Maybe I’ll just get you both to put on a show, for the whole kingdom perhaps?”

“You’re insane, Morgana.” Merlin muttered, his stomach rolling at hearing what she wanted to do. Arthur’s latest drugging had left him feeling sick and shaky. He knew that the magic was there, only right now he didn’t know how to get a grip on it, not when he was feeling like this.

“Maybe. But I’m not the one who has let this happen, Merlin, you are. You could have run when you felt your magic return, but you didn’t. You dropped to your knees like a good little whore. Just admit, Merlin, you’ve loved this attention. Rather than running, you just sucked him off like the slut that you are. You knew it was the only way you’d ever get my brother’s cock, so you took it.”

“Believe what you like, Morgana, I can’t fight you.” Merlin rested his head back on the altar and shut his eyes. This had to be over, he couldn’t take any more.

“Very well.” Morgana started chanting, and Merlin shuddered at the raw power in the words. He didn’t know what she was saying, he didn’t understand the language but he could simply feel how dark the magic was. Something told him that this was her beginning the ritual, yet the only thought Merlin could get through his head was that he hoped it didn’t hurt. Was he really broken? Had he been pretending but not realising that it hadn’t been an act? What if she had been right, what if some part of him had enjoyed being shown that he was still just the servant despite all the power he held in his hands?

“Give in to it, whore.” Merlin blinked, shaking his head. It was the magic that was making him think like this, he had to think clearly, think about what needed to be done to get them out of this. But there was a weight settling on his chest that made it hard to breathe and Arthur was beginning to walk towards him. Morgana flicked her hand and the straps binding Merlin’s legs snapped open. She forced his legs to his chest before rebinding them there, smirking as Arthur climbed onto the altar.

“You’re mine, Emrys,” she whispered, pausing long enough in her chanting to kiss him filthily. “Both of you are.”


	13. Chapter 13

“No, Arthur, please…” Despite his pretence over the last few days, Merlin was struggling as much as he could considering the unusual position that he was bound in. He knew that if Arthur fucked him again, that would be it. His magic would be bound to Arthur, who was being controlled by Morgana. If Arthur reached him, it was over.

“He’s not here, Merlin.” Morgana purred, her eyes flashing in the dark was she ran a hand across Merlin’s chest, her nails drawing blood. As she hissed another word under her breath, Merlin knew that she wasn’t just drawing the blood for the pleasure of it. He could feel something tug deep within his soul, and knew that it was his magic bucking against the restraints she was trying to place on it. Arthur was getting closer, and Merlin knew he was running out of time.

“Arthur, please, listen to me. I know you, I know that you don’t want to do this, please…”

“Did you not here a word I said before, Merlin? He does want to do this, that’s why he can’t stop himself. Oh I admit, it was impressive how long he fought for, you should have been begging within a day, yet Arthur held off. But he was never going to win, not whilst he did truly desire you.”

“No, no, don’t do this.” Merlin felt his breath catch in his throat as Arthur suddenly grabbed his hips, yanking him down the altar. Merlin hissed in pain as the stone rubbed against his bare skin, but considering the pain he knew was about to come, he barely even felt it.

“Arthur…” Merlin desperately shook his head, twisting with all of his might to get free. Morgana started chanting again and Merlin felt his head thud back as his magic recoiled and fought. But then he suddenly blinked, realising that he was being the idiot that Arthur always accused him off. Arthur had made him too dizzy and sick to be able to think straight, but he hadn’t stopped the magic, not this time. The situation was clearing Merlin’s head from the drug and he swallowed hard, stopping his struggles.

“Give into it, Merlin, it will be easier that way.” Morgana practically purred in his ear. Merlin tipped his head back so that he was looking directly at the witch, knowing by the way her pupils widened that she hadn’t expected him to still be fighting back.

“Never.” Merlin’s voice was more of a primitive snarl compared to his earlier begging and he saw Morgana swallow in uncertainty. Before she had time to make any sort of comeback, however, Merlin’s eyes flared gold.

Morgana jumped back with a curse, shouting a spell at him. But Merlin had let the magic take over, finally allowed the instinct for survival flood through his being. He had spent a week hiding the magic despite Arthur knowing, forcing it back from where it had wanted to protect him. But now, Merlin was giving it a free reign.

“You can’t!” Morgana screamed, her eyes flicking up to where Arthur had simply frozen, still holding Merlin’s hips. His dead eyes simply continued to gaze at her, but Merlin was sure that he saw something. Some kind of flicker, a small sign that the real Arthur was in there and smirking at the fact they had fooled her. It was clear he had been told to suppress Merlin’s magic – so that was what he had done. But he hadn’t cut it off completely, and judging by the look on Morgana’s face, that was what she had expected him to do.

“I can.” Merlin responded quietly, his voice dripping with hatred. He knew that he was about to lose control, he was about to lose himself to the magic. But right now, he didn’t care. Morgana was the one to have done this. She was the one to have raped, beaten and abused him for a week; she was the one to have completely destroyed his best friend and the man he loved.

Merlin didn’t say another word; just let his eyes flash golden. The King’s ward screamed, one shrill, piercing sound as she was whipped through the air, hitting the far wall with a sickening thud. Merlin had no idea if she was alive or not, but right now, he had more important things to think about. His eyes continued to glow as the straps holding him down all snapped, the sound echoing and multiplying as he forced Arthur to look at him.

“Arthur?” Despite there being a flicker before, there was nothing in Arthur’s eyes now. Merlin had a feeling that he was only looking at him because Merlin had made him. It was like he wasn’t thinking for himself, he was just reacting. Merlin held his breath as he carefully inched backwards. How they were, he could still feel Arthur brushing against him slightly and he wasn’t sure whether the spell would still be complete if something made Arthur surge forwards or not.

“Sire, can you hear me? Give me some sort of sign if you know what is going on.” Merlin climbed out from under his prince, yet Arthur simply didn’t move.

“Stand up.” That got a reaction as Arthur snapped to attention, springing upwards and simply standing there. Merlin bit back tears as he looked at his strong warrior. This is what magic had reduced him to. If Arthur forgot everything that had just happened, Merlin knew that would be a blessing. After all, how could he trust his servant’s magic after everything he had just been forced to do. Magic hadn’t just made him do it, it was because of magic – or the control over it – that had led to this in the first place.

Merlin walked slowly forward, tears dripping down his face as he slowly let one hand rest on Arthur’s chest. The prince didn’t even blink, and for a moment, Merlin couldn’t bring himself to go any further. But he knew what Gaius and Kilgharrah had said must happen in order for the soul-eater to be defeated. If Merlin had any chance of bringing Arthur back to him, no matter what their relationship afterwards, he knew what he had to do.

“Arthur? I want you to go to the altar and lie down.” Merlin pressed the back of his hand over his mouth as Arthur did as instructed. He was still hard from Morgana’s actions, at least Merlin didn’t have to think of a way to arouse the prince. After everything, he wasn’t sure that he could.

But hating that this was the only way, Merlin took small steps towards the altar himself. He had no choice, he knew he had to take Arthur.


	14. Chapter 14

As soon as he hit the altar, Merlin froze. Arthur was simply lying there, exactly as Merlin had instructed him to, staring at the ceiling. Following his gaze, Merlin bit his lip when he took in the great arched stone ceiling. He knew they were down in Camelot’s vaults in some way, although where precisely he wasn’t sure. Either way, it had to be somewhere that no one had ever come to, for Morgana would have still had to get them both down here.

“Spread your legs.” Merlin whispered, absolutely hating the way that Arthur did as he was told. This was the prince that was one day going to be the greatest King Camelot had ever seen, and here he was taking orders from a servant without batting an eyelid. Somehow, it was Arthur’s submissive attitude to the situation that gave Merlin the strength to finally hitch himself back onto the altar. This was _not_ Arthur, this was not the man he had fallen in love with. No matter what it took, he was going to get Arthur back. It didn’t matter if Arthur hated him afterwards, at least he would be enough of himself in order to hate. To be honest, Merlin wasn’t sure what would happen after this anyway, would he ever be able to love and serve Arthur without memories of being forced haunting him at every turn?

But for now, Merlin put that thought from his head. That didn’t matter, he hadn’t saved Arthur yet. That was what he had to focus on now, not what would happen afterwards. For all he knew, there wouldn’t even be an afterwards.

“You can’t save him, Merlin, you don’t know how.” His hands resting gently on Arthur’s thighs, Merlin’s gaze snapped upwards. Morgana was gingerly sitting up, wincing in pain as she did so but her hatred was burning from her as strong as ever.

“If I don’t know how, Morgana, then what do you think I’m doing now? You really think I would do this if I had a choice? I don’t blame him for what has happened, I still love him. I would never put him through that if I had the choice.” Merlin watched as Morgana’s face fell. It was clear she had been calling his bluff, and now knew that he truly did know how to break the spell she had Arthur under. He just hoped that what Gaius said was true and turning the tables would be enough to break the Soul-Eater’s hold on Arthur as well. Merlin knew that he couldn’t let his prince live like this.

“You don’t have the strength!”

“You don’t think I have the strength to save him?”

“No… you don’t have the strength to rape him.” Morgana’s eyes flashed in the darkness, but before Merlin could react, Arthur let out a soft moan. His head turned slightly as he frowned, and Merlin felt his breath catch as he realised that there was a spark of Arthur looking back at him. The prince stared at him for a moment before snapping his legs shut.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Arthur, please, let me explain…” Without thinking about it, Merlin rested one hand on Arthur’s chest, trying to hold him down. He could tell that Arthur was weak, it took no effort on Merlin’s part to keep hold of the prince.

“The Soul-Eater still has him, Merlin. I want to see you try and save him now.” Merlin just about bit back a cry as he watched Morgana run for the exit, knowing she couldn’t go against his magic. Merlin knew precisely what she had done – Arthur wasn’t free, but there was enough of him released that he would fight Merlin. She was right, Merlin had the strength to save him, but he wasn’t sure he had the strength to take him by force.

“Get off me! You swore you would only ever use your magic to help! Merlin, move!” Merlin shook his head sadly, realising that Arthur remembered what had happened. It probably also meant that he knew he had been under a spell and therefore was not responsible for what he had done. But all he knew now was that Merlin was holding him down, naked, on the altar. Merlin knew how it would look: he was after revenge.

“Arthur, listen to me closely. You have been enchanted. I can help you, but you have to let me… you have to let me in, Sire. Please, trust me.”

“Get off!” Merlin closed his eyes, knowing that Arthur was feeling vulnerable being this weak. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t force him… He backed off a step; head bowed as Arthur practically sprang off the altar, eyes wide and shocked. Merlin didn’t move, but continued to look at the floor as he heard Arthur also take a step towards the exit, clearly trying to get away.

“Slut.”

 Merlin’s head snapped up, watching as Arthur smirked at him. He groaned, knowing what Morgana had done. She had only returned some of Arthur, the same part that had been used to abuse him for the last week. This Arthur was no more his prince than the obedient one was. Knowing he had no choice, Merlin let his eyes flare.

 “You fucking whore, let me go!” But especially in his weakened state, Arthur was no match for Merlin’s magic as he was dragged back to the altar and pushed down on it. Knowing the more magic he used, the more Arthur would fight, Merlin simply pushed him down on his stomach and used the straps to hold him there, panting hard. Arthur shifted, and Merlin felt his jaw drop as he realised that, somehow, Arthur was still hard. He had to act while that was the case, he had to make sure that he freed his prince from the bonds on his soul.

 “Merlin, please…please let me go. I don’t understand, why are you doing this? Just let me up, please…” Freezing again, Merlin glanced towards the doorway. A pair of glowing eyes held his gaze for a moment as Morgana drew back the Arthur that had been her tool and let the real one come through. His eyes narrowing in hatred, Merlin shook his head at her.

 He was not going to be defeated like this.

 Ignoring Arthur’s pleas and his subsequent scream, Merlin climbed up onto the altar and pushed in.


	15. Chapter 15

Merlin was hard pushed not to gasp when he felt Arthur’s tight heat holding him in. Had the prince ever been taken like this? Probably not, he was royal after all.

“Relax, Arthur, I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Get off! Please…” Despite the first part of the sentence coming out as a yell, Merlin felt his heart catch at the plea of the end of the sentence. He had a feeling he knew what Morgana’s last spell had done. Arthur had absolutely no idea of how they ended up here. If Merlin wasn’t going to blame his prince, Morgana was going to make damn sure that Arthur was going to blame the servant.

“Shh, love. I’m helping you, I just need you to relax.”

“Merlin…”

“Arthur, please. Be quiet.” Merlin knew that it was just good that he had already tied Arthur down before he had lost his memory of what had happened, at least he didn’t have the fear of magic to add to everything. Feeling Arthur trembling under him, Merlin suddenly realised what it could mean and let his hand slip under Arthur’s body and in between his body.

“No, don’t…” Arthur squirmed as Merlin took hold of him, but all it took was one flick of Merlin’s wrist for Arthur’s gasp to turn into something different. The last week had certainly given Merlin the ability to do this – not only the inner strength to know that he had to do whatever it took in order to make sure that Arthur was saved. It also gave him the know-how to do it, for it had been far less painful if he could bring Arthur’s pleasure as quickly as he could.

 "Merlin…”

“Shh.” Merlin leant forward and gently kissed the back of Arthur’s neck, continuing to work his hand. He knew that he couldn’t go too fast – the dragon had said that he had to come within Arthur very soon after the prince had spilled, and at this rate, it was going to take him a while to feel any pleasure in what he was doing to the man. But the leaning forward caused his hips to move, and he knew that he wasn’t the only one who gasped as he did so.

“Merlin…” There was a completely different tone to Arthur’s voice this time, and Merlin knew he was no longer asking his servant to stop. Remembering how Arthur had brought him to a climax despite causing him agony at the same time, Merlin experimentally shifted his hips again. Sure enough, Arthur gasped and Merlin could see the way his hands had tightened to fists under the leather straps. He was trying to control himself, and it was such a typical Arthur thing to do – not letting anyone else have control of his body – that Merlin felt himself grinning.

 Closing his eyes, he focused on making sure that he thrust into Arthur at the same angle. Arthur’s gasps gradually became ones of pleasure despite the way that Merlin could feel him trying to hold himself back. Caught up in the moment, Merlin accidentally shifted far harder than he had ever intended to.

 "Sorry… Arthur, I’m sorry…”

“Move.” Merlin blinked, staring down at the body bound underneath his. Arthur’s voice was strained, almost as if he was trying to control what was coming out from his mouth. Merlin frowned for a moment before focusing on his hand and the feeling that he was getting there. Arthur was almost pulsing he was so hard, and the servant let out a soft “oh” of surprise when he realised how Arthur liked it.

He hadn’t been deliberately cruel the way he had been taking Merlin over the last week or so.

The prince liked it rough and hard.

Somehow, Merlin knew that would get them through it. Arthur was not about to break the way he had felt like he would, he did not have to watch what he was doing in order to make sure that the prince got pleasure out of this as well. Merlin knew the best thing to do was simply to let himself go.

Without another warning, he tightened his hand around Arthur’s cock and began pumping him hard. At the same time, he allowed his hips to thrust as they wanted, not trying to hold back. He could almost feel Arthur’s body rocking on the altar as it tried to adapt to the change of pace, but Arthur lost all co-ordination when Merlin made sure that he hit that particular spot again.

This time, Arthur practically cried out and Merlin gripped hard on his prick, causing Arthur to almost yell as he suddenly spilled all over his servant’s hand. As Arthur tried to regain his breath, Merlin grabbed him by the hips and let all the anger and frustration over the last week consume him, driving him deeper into Arthur’s body. For a moment, it was as if something within his soul liked the idea of hurting Arthur after everything that he had been put through. But no sooner had the thought crossed his mind when Merlin felt himself coming.

He pushed in as far as he could, pulsing deep within the man, his breath coming in ragged, sharp breaths as he tried to stop himself from simply collapsing onto Arthur’s back. Whispering an apology again, he gently drew out, suddenly realising that he had been prepared to hurt Arthur. He thought that he had been dealing with the fact that this was just the magic that had made the prince act the way he had been, but for a split second, Merlin had felt how glorious it would feel to properly extract revenge on the man who had been determined to end his life.

He just hoped that Arthur never knew that thought had flickered across his mind, for Merlin already felt disgusted enough with himself. Somehow, he had found pleasure in taking Arthur against his will, despite the fact that he had been trying to save him – save them both – at the same time. But Merlin was biting his lip as he stepped back from the altar, not being sure whether he should untie Arthur or not even though the prince was struggling against his restraints.

Had it been enough to break the spell, not only Morgana’s but that of the Soul-Eater’s as well? Were they free?


	16. Chapter 16

Merlin had no idea how long he simply stood there and looked at Arthur. The prince had all but collapsed onto the altar, not fighting against the restraints, not fighting against anything. Merlin had just made to approach him when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he knew that there was something else in the room with them. He allowed his magic to fill him up, knowing that once again he was going to have to keep them both safe from whatever it was that Morgana was going to do next.

But as the magic infiltrated his eyes, Merlin could once again make out the sight of a shadow bending over Arthur. Its fingers were ghosting over the prince’s hair and it almost seemed to be crooning at him. It wasn’t the same one as before, this one didn’t hold the same threat. As Merlin watched, golden light began to swirl in the air around the prince, gently soaking into his skin. Arthur seemed to be unconscious, his back arching even as the light was absorbed by his body. It was only the restraints that stopped him from almost floating off the altar.

Watching the spectacle brought tears to Merlin’s eyes. He knew what was happening. This was the opposite to the Soul-Eater, and it was returning everything that Arthur had had stolen from him. Merlin had no idea if Arthur would remember everything that had happened or not, he didn’t know how permanent Morgana’s last spell had been. If he was honest, he wasn’t sure which one he wanted more – he didn’t want Arthur wracked with guilt, but he also knew that he couldn’t take the light flirting that had been between them before this had happened. At least if Arthur knew, anything he did or said to hurt Merlin from now on would be deliberate rather than him doing it through ignorance and having no idea what he was doing wrong.

“ _Your prince is returned to you.”_ The voice was musical, almost loving and gently, and Merlin felt the warmth of its presence wash over him as he let the magic go again. He knew that the thing wouldn’t hurt them, and he also knew that Morgana wouldn’t be sticking around to see what happened. If Arthur remembered, then he would also remember that it was his sister who had put him through this. With both Arthur and Merlin baying for her blood, there would be nowhere she would be able to hide in order to escape them. The thought caused a moment of worry to course through Merlin, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it as the figure disappeared again and Arthur stirred.

The prince shifted and for a second it was as if he was just rolling over in his sleep. But Merlin saw the way that his hands tightened into fists under the straps and his whole body rippled with tension.

“Merlin?” Arthur’s voice was quiet and controlled, and Merlin swallowed back a sob as he realised what it meant. Arthur remembered everything that had happened. He seemed to sound like he was in control, but Merlin knew Arthur better than that. He knew that when the prince sounded like this, it was because he was doing everything in his power to simply hold it together and not break down and cry.

“I’m here.” In comparison, Merlin’s voice was a trembling whisper. He knew what Arthur wanted from him, and yet somehow, using magic didn’t even cross his mind. It was as if knowing Arthur was back was enough for him to instantly go back to doing things the hard way despite knowing that Arthur still knew his secret. On shaky legs, he stumbled over to the altar, doing his utmost not to look at it as trembling fingers struggled to unbuckle the straps again and free Arthur. As soon as one hand was free, Arthur yanked his wrist clear and set to work on the other strap himself. Merlin took the hint and moved back a step, letting Arthur untie himself.

Instead, Merlin looked around as he tried to see if there was any clothing. Morgana had to have got them down here somehow without arousing suspicion, and eventually, he saw all of Arthur’s clothes over in the corner. There was nothing for him to wear, but he silently gathered up the prince’s clothes and held them out to him as Arthur climbed off the altar. Arthur almost snatched them out of his grasp, flushing as he did so. But then he looked up again and realised that Merlin had nothing.

Silently, he handed his servant his cloak. It would be enough to cover Merlin until they were upstairs. There was no telling where the warlock’s clothes would be, not considering he had been in Arthur’s rooms when Morgana had attacked. Arthur hadn’t exactly been thinking about keeping his servant clothed during the last week. Merlin hesitated before taking the cloak, not being sure if he wanted something of Arthur’s after everything that had just happened, but then realised that it was the cloak or nothing. Slowly, he drew the material over his shoulders, letting the folds of fabric fall around his body. He thought that he was going to sob as he felt the warmth immediately begin to sink into his frozen limbs.

“We should get back upstairs.” There was no emotion in Arthur’s voice, but Merlin almost preferred that to the cold hearted tone he had become used to over the week. He mutely nodded, letting Arthur take the lead and falling into step behind his master. But his eyes stayed on the floor and he found that he was unable to look at Arthur. Considering he could make out the tension still in Arthur’s body, he knew that the prince was finding this just as hard as he was.

They had defeated Morgana and had saved them both from being consumed by a spell. But could they recover from it?


	17. Chapter 17

Neither of them could look at each other as they hurried upstairs. Thankfully, the corridors seemed to be deserted and there were no awkward questions asked about what they had been doing down in the vaults or why Merlin was dressed in his master’s cloak and nothing else. Merlin was glad; he wasn’t sure whether he could come up with an excuse that wouldn’t give everything away.

There was a time he would have been able to. He had always been able to invent something ludicrous on the spot and somehow get away with it. It didn’t matter whether it had been on his mother as a child or the knights of Camelot when he was somewhere he shouldn’t have been. It was the one thing that had allowed him to keep his magic a secret from Arthur for all this time. He knew that he had an innocent look about him despite the lies he hid and the people he had destroyed in the name of destiny. It had been what had allowed him to survive, and what had allowed him to be torn apart. If someone had asked what they were doing, Merlin was sure that he would have simply broken down in the middle of the corridor.

After what felt like a lifetime, however, they finally reached Arthur’s chambers. Merlin automatically shut the door behind him as they entered, and then realised that he had almost frozen as the latch clicked into place. He had to stop reacting like this, it was over. Biting his lip in order to fight back the tears threatening to burst from him, Merlin unclasped Arthur’s cloak and simply let it drop to the floor. He knew that it hadn’t been his prince acting like this, but that didn’t stop his mind from wanting to get away from anything to do with Arthur. It was going to be hard convincing his soul that it was the magic.

What made it worse was that Merlin knew it was more than that. Arthur had liked him before, maybe even throughout the whole ordeal. He knew that Morgana had been telling the truth when she had said that Arthur had desired his servant, it was why he had taken the course of action he had in order to try and get Merlin to break. Did that mean that there could have been something between them if this hadn’t have happened? Had it destroyed more than just their friendship?

Moving swiftly yet silently across the room, Merlin managed to find enough items of clothing to make himself decent. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at Arthur, but could see the prince out of the corner of his eye. Arthur seemed to be watching him closely, before realising what he was doing and pointedly looking in the opposite direction. What would he think about when he saw his servant now? Merlin had always fantasised what it would have been like to be with Arthur, and wondered if the prince thought the same way. Now, surely Arthur would just see Merlin on his knees like a whore, nothing mutual between them.

Angrily brushing away a treacherous tear threatening to fall, Merlin pulled on his trousers, shirt and jacket. He couldn’t see his neckerchief, but there was no way he was about to ask Arthur if he had seen it. He knew that he couldn’t pretend to be busy any more – so long spent imprisoned in the room meant that it was immaculate. Apart from the bed. The covers were a rumpled mess from where Arthur had taken him last, yet Merlin found that he could barely even look at it, let alone try and do something about it.

“Do-,”

“I-,”

After spending the entire time in silence, Merlin was forcibly reminded of just how in tune he had always been with Arthur up until now as they both tried to speak at the same time. He immediately dropped his head slightly, not realising that he was submitting in a way that he had never done before.

“Merlin…” Arthur’s voice was a choked whisper, and it was only when Merlin jerked his head back up did he realise what he had done. He swallowed hard, not being sure what to do considering there seemed to be tears lingering in Arthur’s eyes.

“Sire?”

“I…” Merlin knew that Arthur was about to try and apologise. But he didn’t want to hear it. He had told himself that he knew it wasn’t the prince who had attacked him, he had convinced himself that he didn’t blame Arthur in the slightest. While it might have been nice to know that Arthur did regret what had just happened, Merlin didn’t see what good it would do. What on earth could words do when Merlin felt as if he had been violated in every possible way in the last week? Arthur hadn’t just raped his body, he had taken his magic as well.

He had effectively destroyed him.

There were no words that he could say that would make up for that. Especially considering it wasn’t him who had done it in the first place.

“Merlin!” Arthur’s sharp tone cut through Merlin’s foggy senses this time and the warlock jerked, realising that his vision was beginning to blacken and his legs were trembling violently. He looked up to see Arthur taking a step towards him, the old expression of concern on his face. But as he began to lose consciousness, Merlin panicked.

“Stay away…” his voice was weak, yet the look of hurt that shot across Arthur’s face wouldn’t’ have been worse if he had screamed them at his master. He just needed time and space, he needed to think. He needed…air! Most of all he needed air, and Merlin found himself clawing at his own throat as he realised that he couldn’t breathe. Locking eyes with Arthur again, Merlin found that he was almost convinced the prince would do as he had asked and stay back.

Safe in that knowledge, Merlin passed out.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: (I know, another one!). But hints of incest in this chapter, you have been warned.

Arthur could only stare at the collapsed form of his servant before practically screaming for the guards to get Gaius. Luckily, they heard the note in Arthur’s voice and didn’t even attempt to question his orders but went running for the physician. Arthur found that he was drawing the bolt across the door even while he waited for Gaius to arrive. He knew that wouldn’t stop Morgana, but at least it gave him the feeling that he was trying to protect himself.

As soon as that was done, Arthur practically scurried across the room, pressing himself into a corner and crouching down. His hands were gripping at his hair in anguish as he stared at Merlin’s sprawled body. He had done this. It was all his fault that Merlin had gone through absolute hell, that he had effectively been broken. He should have been stronger, he should have found a way to fight back. He had tried, hell knows he had tried. But it was as if he had been watching from a distance.

He had known what he was doing, he had heard the mocking and hating words that had come out of his mouth. But the small voice in the back of his mind had been screaming at him to stop it, to try and make a deal, a bargain of some sort that would save Merlin’s life. But the Soul-Eater had just laughed mockingly at him, bound to destroy him as well by Morgana’s magic. Arthur had even tried pleading with her to stop this, knowing by the look in Merlin’s eyes that he was slowly being defeated. She had just smirked and ran her hands through his hair and down his chest, pushing at him until he was lying down again.

  
Arthur shuddered, clamping his mouth shut. But he wasn’t quick enough, instead only just managing to lunge at a chamber pot before the contents of his stomach came rushing up again. They were the only times his mind had gone blissfully blank was when Morgana had decided that now she had him under her control, she was going to use him just the way that he had been using Merlin. Arthur knew that no one could ever find out about that, especially not as she had spent most of the time mocking him, telling him how this was just to get back at Uther for not telling her the truth about her parentage.

Arthur didn’t realise that he was shivering, tears running down his face as his arms clamped across his stomach. He certainly had no idea that he was rocking back and forth slightly, eyes not leaving Merlin.

He should have been stronger.

Merlin had admitted he loved him. He had said out loud the words that Arthur had spent months wanting to say himself and hear in return. He had got his wish, he had even got Merlin… But he had never wanted it to be like this. He had heard what Morgana had said down in the crypts, and she had been right. It was his desire and natural lust for Merlin that had meant he had taken that path to try and break the warlock. And what he hated the most was that there had been a small part of him that had enjoyed it. He had always wondered what it would be like to be buried in Merlin’s body, to feel his tight heat holding him in place as they moved together.

He had got his wish. It had all been his fault.

Arthur was barely able to move in time as he threw up again, his eyes flickering as he too fought for consciousness. He had spent days now not being quite complete, feeling an empty void within his soul as his life was slowly sucked from him. He had a memory of Merlin almost realising.

They had been in bed. Well, Merlin had been tied to the bed as Arthur had fucked him mercilessly, tormenting the sorcerer with both his words and his hands as he had taken his pleasure. But Arthur had forced himself to untie the warlock and push him from the bed when he was done, fighting with everything he had to give Merlin a chance to get away. He had run from the room, part of his consciousness returning with far more force than it had done up until now. He had only made it to the servant’s chambers before Morgana had appeared in the doorway, pinning him against the wall with magic and reminding him that there was nowhere to run. She had brought the soul-eater forth again, ordering it to take a bit more of Arthur’s soul as he was fighting back too much.

His mind went completely blank after that point, only realising where he was a little later. He had been on the floor, and Morgana had just been straightening her skirts as Arthur blinked awake again. The witch had patted his cheek, told him he had been a good boy and left. Arthur had almost given up hope there and then, knowing that he wasn’t strong enough to get away.

The only thing keeping him going was knowing that he had to save Merlin as well. This wasn’t just about him, and there was no way that he was going to let the man he loved die, not at his hands.

“Arthur? Arthur, let me in!” Blinking, Arthur stared at the door, realising that Gaius had arrived. He couldn’t make it across that far though, he couldn’t get his body to listen to him even he wanted to. He managed to make some sort of strangled noise that probably didn’t even make it through the door and that was all. There was a pause, then the sound of hurried footsteps. Arthur jerked back as the servant’s door burst open, but Gaius seemed to just take one look at the room and know what was going on. He moved forward, crouching in front of the prince. His hands stretched out, but Arthur jerked back. Gaius looked at him sadly.

“Oh, Arthur…”


	19. Chapter 19

Gaius didn’t stay crouched by Arthur for long. He seemed to realise that the prince was incapable of forming a reaction other than to stare at Merlin. Knowing that to help them both, he had to get Merlin out of here, Gaius rose to his feet and moved swiftly across the chambers. It almost broke his heart to see Merlin lying there so vulnerable and weak, distress on his face even though he was unconscious.

It took every ounce of Gaius’ self-control not to say anything. He could tell by the way that Arthur was behaving the prince knew precisely why Merlin was like this. He also knew by the fact that Arthur was even reacting meant that Merlin had done what he said he was going to and freed Arthur from the clutches of the Soul-Eater. Unfortunately, Gaius knew full well what that kind of ritual would have done to both of them, and he just hoped they had the strength to pull through this. Merlin had been the victim for too long in this ordeal, but Gaius had a feeling more had happened to Arthur than they were aware. Merlin had overheard something about the prince fighting back, and from all of his studies, Gaius knew how dangerous that was.

He also knew that Arthur would be hurting from what Merlin had been forced to do, even if the thought hadn’t yet registered in his mind. But he could see the way Merlin’s clothes had clearly been pulled on in a rush and had a feeling that it wasn’t within these chambers that the spell had been broken. He rested one hand against Merlin’s forehead, frowning when he felt how cold the skin was. Where on earth had they been?

“Is he..?”

“He’s alive. I need to get him back to my chambers, Sire.” Knowing it was a good thing that Arthur was talking, Gaius made sure to keep his voice soft and reassuring. He knew that it hadn’t been Arthur’s fault, that he had risked a fate worse than death in order to try and keep Merlin from breaking. But he had a paternal attachment to the young warlock and knowing what he had been through fuelled an anger within the physician that Gaius hadn’t felt for a very long time. He couldn’t blame Arthur, but he also knew that if the two of them hadn’t been in love and trying to hide it from each other, things would have not got this bad.

It was only a small noise as Arthur’s legs almost refused to support his weight that made Gaius realise that he was even moving.

“Arthur, stay there, you’re not well.”

“You said you needed to get him back. You’re not strong enough…”

“Arthur, stop.” Gaius sighed, twisting and looking at Arthur steadily. It was the same look that had once stopped the disobedient little boy from sneaking out with the knights against his father’s wishes. It had worked then, and judging by the way Arthur swallowed, Gaius knew that it was working now.

“You can’t help him.”

Arthur shook his head, tear-filled eyes not leaving Merlin’s prone body.

“I _have_ to.” Gaius knew that tone, knew that it meant Arthur was not going to back down on this. While Gaius was glad it meant that the prince had finally begun to take responsibility for his actions, Gaius knew that now was not the time or place.

“I think it is better for someone else to carry him back, don’t you?”

“But…”

“Arthur, does Merlin want you near him?” Hurt flashed across the prince’s face and Gaius knew that he had made his point. He stiffly rose to his feet and went to the door, instructing a guard to take Merlin back to his chambers. Arthur’s eyes didn’t leave Merlin the whole time as he was gently lifted into the air and taken from the prince’s chambers, but Gaius was watching Arthur with just as much intensity as Arthur had been watching his servant. Sighing, the old man pulled his medicine bag towards him and rummaged inside. It only took a few seconds for him to find what he wanted and he pulled out two small phials.

“I want you to take these, Sire.”

“What are they?” Gaius winced as he pressed them into Arthur’s hand, realising that Merlin wasn’t the only one cold. Wherever they had been, Merlin hadn’t been the only one not properly dressed for it. Gaius tried not to think about the implications of those thoughts, his heart breaking for the two young men.

“The blue one will take away any pain. The green one will allow a dreamless sleep. You need it. You need them both.”

“I’m not in any pain.” Arthur muttered stubbornly, pushing them back at Gaius. The physician simply folded his hand over Arthur’s, keeping the bottles in his palm.

“I know, Arthur. I know what happened to you, I know what has been happening to Merlin and I know what he had to do in order to free you. You might not be feeling it now, but believe me, you will later. It’s better to get some rest.

The little colour that still was in Arthur’s cheeks drained at the fact that Gaius knew what had happened. The physician was glad, for he knew that he would never be able to get them to talk about it now. Instead, he pulled the blue bottle out of Arthur’s hand, unstopped it and held it back out to the prince.

“The best way that you can help him now is by helping yourself. He isn’t going to be up to visitors for a while, and I would rather not be running between the two of you.”

Arthur seemed to realise what Gaius was saying and drained the bottle in one gulp, grimacing at the after taste before fiddling with the other bottle. It wasn’t that Merlin wouldn’t be up to visitors, it was that he wouldn’t be strong enough to face Arthur, not after what had happened.


	20. Chapter 20

Merlin felt consciousness begin to filter back to him slowly. At first, he just became aware of how he seemed to hurt absolutely everywhere. Not just from where Arthur had attacked him, but his head was throbbing and his stomach churning. He knew it was partly from the magic that he had to use – and consequently what he had to do in order to work it – and partly because he was desperately trying not to freak out about what had happened.

Merlin thought that he had would manage to stay in control, and that everything was going to be okay. Until he realised that he was lying down, shivering slightly from where he was exposed and that his legs seemed to be parted.

“No!”

Merlin jerked up, a hand on his chest instantly trying to get him to lie still. Merlin didn’t notice that all other touches had disappeared as he fought to be free, his eyes slowly beginning to turn gold. He wasn’t stopping and thinking about what he was doing, he was just reacting.

“Merlin, stop! Stop, calm down, my boy. It’s just me, you are safe…” It took a while before Merlin managed to recognise Gaius’ voice. Although he pulled the magic back into his control, he could feel that some was still escaping him, sparking from his fingers threateningly as he tried to take note of what was going on around him. He seemed to be lying on Gaius’ bed, his clothes having been removed and a small table set up next to him. A pitcher of water was the first thing that he noticed, but then saw the various different phials and creams that seemed to be littering the work surface. He knew most of them, but his exhausted mind couldn’t keep up in order to know that they were there to aid him.

Eventually, his eyes flickered down to see Gaius standing by the bed, another of the creams in his hand and a gentle and reassuring look on his face. For a moment, Merlin could only blink up at him, his sluggish mind finally snapping his legs shut and trying to process what was going on.

“Gaius?” The physician smiled softly, putting the cream down and picking up the water. One aged hand gently cradled the back of Merlin’s head as he helped him to drink a little. Merlin found his tongue eagerly chasing the droplets of water, unable to remember the last time he had drunk anything. He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten either, but found that he wasn’t hungry. Even the thought of food made his rebellious stomach clench painfully.

“Slowly, Merlin, slowly.” Gaius admonished, pulling the cup out of reach and causing a whine to escape the back of Merlin’s throat. After he had calmed down, Gaius let him have a little more, always making sure that Merlin didn’t try and gulp too much at once. At the back of his mind, Merlin knew  that he was going to make himself ill if he didn’t listen, but his body’s want for survival after the treatment it had been through was too great and he just wanted to drink.

Eventually, he settled back on the pillows again, feeling as if just that one small action had completely exhausted him. Gaius set down the cup and picked up the cream again.

“Merlin? I need to treat you with this.” Merlin simply blinked at his guardian for a moment, not understanding why Gaius was looking at him that way. Finally, the pieces all slotted together and he could feel himself paling as tears burned the corners of his eyes. He nodded, but his body had seized up, unwilling to let him part his legs again, despite knowing that Gaius was only trying to help. The physician seemed to know what he was going through, one hand resting comfortingly against Merlin’s ankle.

Lying back and staring at the ceiling, Merlin refused to react as Gaius slowly moved up his leg. He understood now why Gaius had been trying to do this while he had been unconscious, for tears were running down his face and every muscle in his body seemed to have locked, freezing him into place as Gaius moved upwards.

“You’re doing well, Merlin, that’s it…”

The soft encouragement forced an almost hysterical laugh from Merlin as he realised that his hands were scrunched in the sheets. Determined to just get it over and done with, Merlin wrenched his legs apart, trying to control the way his breathing automatically hitched and a tremor ran through his body. Gaius didn’t question it, but immediately reacted, seeming to realise that this was the only chance that he might have.

When Merlin was unable to control the shaking and he closed his legs again with a whimper, Gaius had almost finished. The old man knew that he couldn’t ask again and swiftly drew back, giving Merlin some space to pull himself together again as he busied himself at the other end of his chambers. He could hear Merlin crying, but knew better than to go to him, knowing his ward would hate showing signs of weakness. Eventually, Merlin sniffed and Gaius knew that he had controlled himself enough for the physician to return.

Picking out a sleeping draught, Gaius moved back to the bed.

“How’s Arthur?” Merlin whispered, his voice betraying how much that hurt him to ask despite it being obvious he knew it had been the magic and not his friend. Gaius just gave him a long and steady look and Merlin nodded softly.

“I have to see him.” He even looked like he was going to get out of bed before his shaking arms refused to support his weight and he crashed back down on the pillows, a scared look in his eyes that Gaius knew had emerged when talking of the prince.

“You have to sleep. Regain a little strength first. Here, drink this.” Pressing the phial into Merlin’s hand, Gaius knew just how wrong things were when his ward downed it in one go rather than protesting like usual. It took effect immediately, dragging Merlin back into the darkness and for Gaius to let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding.

That had gone better than he thought it would have.


	21. Chapter 21

“Merlin? Merlin, my boy, wake up.”

Merlin wasn’t sure whether it was Gaius’ soft and concerned voice or the hand on his shoulder that jolted him awake. In the split second before alertness fully returned to him, Merlin felt his body recoil from the touch as a tremble ran through him. Gaius had already withdrawn, sitting back and watching him with a concerned expression as Merlin shakily sat up. He felt more exhausted now than he had done when he had gone to sleep. Wiping his hand across his face, Merlin blinked to find it was streaked with tears.

“Nightmare?” he asked softly, not being sure what it was he was dreaming about. But there was a new ache to his body, one that seemed to be in his soul more than affecting him physically. Gaius nodded, his eyes burning with compassion. Merlin swallowed hard, nodding to himself as he leant back on the wall. Sitting up on his own was still something out of the question.

“I don’t understand. How come I’m only feeling everything now?”

“Survival. Your body knows that you are safe now so it is letting down its defences and making you aware of the damage that has been inflicted on it.” Merlin nodded in understanding, but let his eyes drift until he was gazing at nothing. He didn’t want to look at Gaius, not with the thoughts running through his head. He should have known though, his guardian knew him better than that. As soon as Merlin lost focus, Gaius leant forward.

“What is it?” The look Merlin gave him clearly implied he thought Gaius was mad to even ask, but the physician glared just as pointedly back. Whatever was on Merlin’s mind, it was not what Arthur had been doing to him.

“It won’t help holding it all in.” Gaius prompted gently and Merlin let out an explosive breath, tilting his head back again and letting the weight take his weight.

“You know what I had to do in order to break the hold of the magic?”

“You had no choice, Merlin, it would have killed you both…”

“I know.” Merlin quickly interrupted. He didn’t want Gaius trying to reassure him. For that to happen, it would have to mean that there was a feeling of guilt. While he knew he had been saving Arthur and therefore would do the same thing again in a heartbeat, that wasn’t what had Merlin flushing slightly.

“Then what is it?”

“I liked it.”

Silence fell at Merlin’s whisper and the warlock found that he couldn’t raise his head to look Gaius in the eye. Now that he had started, he knew that he had to say what was on his mind.

“There was this part of me… only a part, but it was still there. It knew that it had been the magic making Arthur act this way, but… but it wanted to punish him. It wanted him to know what it felt like to be pinned down and taken. It wanted him to fight just so it had the excuse to be harsher. It felt…good.”

“Merlin…

“Don’t.” Merlin didn’t want to hear anything Gaius might have to say. He was disgusted enough with himself that he had managed to climax instead the prince while taking Arthur against his will. He had thought that the prince had been the monster throughout the last week with the way that he had been treated. Even with knowing that magic was responsible for the way he had been acting, Merlin had still wondered how Arthur had gone through with it day after day.

Ever since his magic had been used to strap the man down on the altar, completely at his mercy, Merlin had understood. He didn’t think he had ever felt as powerful as when Arthur had struggled against him and absolutely nothing had happened other than Merlin getting his way.

“Merlin, listen to me.” Gaius’ firm voice gave Merlin no choice but to open his eyes again. To his surprise, Gaius was still looking at him with a kindly expression.

“You are the most powerful warlock to walk the earth. Yet you have to hide. You have just spent a week being tortured. Arthur found out your deepest secret, and used it against you. He had plans to use it for his own ends. It doesn’t matter that it was the magic, that still happened. Your magic… it’s part of you but it is also an entity of its own. It would have liked being free in the way it had to be for you to… free Arthur. Of course it liked it, Arthur had spent a week suppressing it. It wasn’t you, you understand?”

Merlin nodded.

“I think I’ll get some more sleep.”

Gaius smiled gently at him and climbed to his feet, squeezing his ward’s shoulder. Merlin managed a weak smile back, holding back the tears until Gaius had moved away. The physician was wrong. It hadn’t been the magic taking on a life of its own, no matter what Gaius said. It had all been him, a darker part of himself that he never knew even existed rearing its head. Now he had had a taste of what it would be like to truly be the powerful one, Merlin loathed the fact that part of him had liked it.

He had enjoyed having Arthur at his mercy, and he hated himself for it.


	22. Chapter 22

Merlin knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. He knew that Gaius didn’t want him going to see Arthur, but Merlin knew he had to. He waited until his guardian had gone out on his rounds and slipped from the bed on shaky legs. It took him what felt like forever to gather his clothes and make himself presentable, and then seemed to take another age to make the journey to Arthur’s chambers. His whole body was trembling but Merlin forced himself to knock. The last thing he wanted was to take Arthur by surprise. It was a rough voice that bid him to enter and Merlin had to use every inch of willpower to push the door open.

Arthur was standing on the far side of his chambers, looking out of the window as he often did when something was troubling him. Merlin shut the door, but didn’t take another step. He wanted to know that the escape was right behind him.  Arthur turned and Merlin blinked. The prince looked awful. It was clear he hadn’t slept since they had come up from the vaults and Merlin wondered if it was possible to lose weight in two days. Arthur looked gaunt and drawn and his eyes were wide. Merlin had to remind himself that the prince had been as much of a victim in this as he had. Without knowing that Morgana had also been taking pleasure from Arthur’s body while he couldn’t resist, Merlin told himself that Arthur had been forced, that he wouldn’t have done it otherwise.

But somehow, the fact that Arthur looked so worn made Merlin angry.

He didn’t know why. He wanted Arthur to look strong and unbreakable as always, because then Merlin could rage at him. He could let out all of his anger and fear over the situation and know that Arthur would just be able to take it. But when the prince looked like this, Merlin knew that he had to somehow keep his emotions in or they would both break. And that thought made him furious.

How dare Arthur look weak when Merlin needed him to be the strong leader that he always was?

He took another step into the room and the very air seemed to crackle with magic.

“Merlin? H-how are you feeling?” The tremble in Arthur’s voice did nothing to soothe Merlin’s growing fury and he could feel his eyes beginning to turn gold. Arthur clearly saw, Merlin saw his own eyes widen in fear for a split second before Arthur looked away again. He was resigned, he was going to let Merlin do whatever he wanted and simply take it.

“Look at me!” Merlin screamed, his frustration bubbling up into an almost hysterical mass in the centre of his chest. He felt like he needed to explode, and he had hoped coming here and just talking would have done it. But not now, not like this. Arthur very slowly turned his head back around and Merlin lashed out before he could stop himself. He didn’t say a word, he didn’t even lift his hand. He simply jerked his head and Arthur was slammed against the wall, held there firmly by the magic.

Merlin’s blood sang with the feeling of power and arousal curled in his stomach at seeing Arthur struggling against the magic for a moment before the prince fell still.

“I know how you must be feeling…”

“No you don’t! I loved you. It might have been the magic, but it was still you, Arthur. Morgana told me, she said that it was your own desire that caused you to force me to my knees day after day. Is it true? It was your own desire?”

“Yes,” Arthur whispered, looking utterly broken. “But I would never have done anything, Merlin, I swear. I wouldn’t have hurt you…”

“Shut up.” Merlin didn’t notice how cold his voice had gone but Arthur did as he fell quiet, staring at his servant with undisguised fear in his eyes.

“What about my desire, Arthur? What’s to stop me taking you right now against the wall and claim that it was the magic? It could be for all you know, it wasn’t like you ever tried to understand. You just used it against me, used it in a way that meant I had no way of fighting back. You didn’t just rape my body, Arthur. You made me feel like a nothing. For the first time in my life, despite life in Ealdor being hard, you made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything.”

“Merlin, please…believe me when I say that I would never have hurt you if I had any control.”

“You could have regained control. Everyone can take power if they want it.” Merlin finally lifted his hand, twisting it into the magic was dragging Arthur up the wall. As the prince gasped for breath, Merlin suddenly realised what he was doing. Or rather, how much he was enjoying it.

The magic snapped as soon as the thought registered in Merlin’s head. He didn’t hear Arthur fall to the floor as Merlin let him go, he instead just found that he was curling into himself, gasping himself as he realised quite what he had been doing.

“Merlin?” Out of the corner of his eye, Merlin was aware that Arthur had taken some sort of comforting move towards him. Merlin scrambled backwards across the floor.

“No, stay away. Please, just stay away… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. You have no reason to trust me, Merlin, I know that. I don’t even trust myself, but please… believe that I wouldn’t hurt you. If you think I would, you’re free to stop me, however you wish.”

Merlin didn’t register that Arthur had just given him permission to fight back, but instead found himself curling into a ball, shaking uncontrollably as tears cursed down his face. Arthur wouldn’t have been able to fight back against the magic, Gaius had made it quite apparent how impossible that was. But Merlin could fight against himself. The scary thing was he knew that he didn’t want to.

He wanted to be powerful for once. Wondering whether something had perhaps snapped inside of him, Merlin tried to get to his feet, lost the contents of his stomach and practically collapsed. He didn’t even have the strength to resist as Arthur moved him away and draped a blanket over him.

What did he do now?


	23. Chapter 23

Merlin let out a soft sigh before he opened his eyes. For a moment, he just floated in the hazy world of being halfway between dreaming and reality. But then the pain of reality grounded him with a thump and Merlin groaned as his body immediately reminded him of everything that had happened. Realising that he was warm and comfortable, Merlin glanced around him, only to stiffen. His breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t stop the small whimper from escaping him as he realised that he was in Arthur’s room.

Scrambling out of the chair was not the best idea he could have had. Not having registered the presence of the thick blanket draped over him, Merlin hit the floor with a thud as the material wound around his legs and stopped him from going anywhere. For a moment, panic threatened to overwhelm him as he realised that he was trapped before he slowly took a deep breath. Forcing himself to think clearly, Merlin leant down and carefully unwrapped himself. He hated the fact that he felt so weak, where even a blanket was enough for him to freak out at the moment. Not risking standing up again considering he could feel that he was trembling, Merlin rolled over onto all fours.

Somehow, the movement was enough for the memories of earlier that evening to come crashing back at him. He had used magic against Arthur. More than that, he had vindictively used magic against Arthur, he had wanted to hurt the prince with it. Why hadn’t Arthur already had him dragged off to the dungeons? Merlin had sworn that he wouldn’t hurt anyone with it when Arthur had been claiming what he was going to do with the warlock’s power. But he had broken that vow, he had gone against everything that Arthur believed in.

Merlin didn’t realise that he was practically hyperventilating while kneeling on the floor until another presence dropped down next to him.

“Tell me what to do. Do you want me to get Gaius? Do I stay, do I go…” Merlin shook his head, tears in his eyes at the sheer helplessness in Arthur’s voice. He hadn’t sounded that helpless when Morgana had forced him to be afraid just before Merlin had pushed his way into the prince. This wasn’t Arthur being scared of something happening to him, this was the prince being afraid simply because he had no idea what to do in order to help.

The very fact that he wanted to help after what Merlin had done caused the warlock’s arms to give way from where they were supporting his weight. Merlin knew that he had braced himself to hit the floor. The last week had caused him to learn when to expect pain and how to just distance his mind from it happening. But rather than the thud he had been expecting, an arm caught him around the chest, carefully pulling him back until he was resting back on the chair again.

Merlin knew that it had to be Arthur supporting him, even if he couldn’t be certain by the way his vision was threatening to darken again. But somehow, knowing the prince was touching him, did nothing. He didn’t feel the flash of previous fear as Arthur slowly drew back again, watching him closely as he tried to gauge Merlin’s reactions. All Merlin felt was tired. He had no room left for fear now, he just wanted to sleep. As Arthur drew back, Merlin blinked rapidly, willing himself not to pass out this time.

He didn’t think he would win the fight against his body, but eventually a blink revealed Arthur crouched in front of him. Arthur seemed to notice the second that clarity returned to his servant for he immediately backed off a few paces, watching Merlin warily. Merlin wasn’t sure whether Arthur was expecting him to break down because of the touch or to throw him against a wall again. If he was honest, Merlin wasn’t sure how he felt himself. Emotion seemed to be something too strong for him right now, he just felt hollow and empty.

“Do you want me to get Gaius?” Merlin mutely shook his head to Arthur’s question, leaning his head back on the arm of the chair and sighing. Without thinking what he was doing, he had pulled the blanket towards him and folded his knees up to his chest as he pulled it around his shoulders again.

 “Arthur-,”

“Merlin-,

There was a touch of a smile on Arthur’s face when Merlin locked eyes with him. He opened his mouth to speak again but Merlin got their first. He knew that if Arthur apologised again, he would back down on the plan that had just sprung into his head.

“Let me go first.”

The fact that Arthur let him was just a sign of how wrong things were. It was why Merlin had to do this, he couldn’t constantly be on edge and wondering whether he was going to cry or lash out. He couldn’t put Gaius through it, he couldn’t put himself through it. Taking a deep breath, Merlin looked up. Arthur was watching him closely, and there was almost a resigned look on the man’s face. Despite the secrets that Merlin had been hiding, the warlock knew that this was the man who truly did know him better than anyone. That just made everything so much worse. Taking a deep breath, Merlin opened his mouth.

“I’m leaving Camelot.”


	24. Chapter 24

Merlin sighed, staring around his room. He had had some of the best and the worst moments of his life here in this very room, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about leaving it. All of his belongings were packed in a small bag resting on the bed and Merlin sat down on the end of it, burying his face in his hands.

Arthur hadn’t reacted at all when Merlin said that he was going. That in itself was the reaction. He had just stood there, staring at his servant as if he had never seen him before. Even when Merlin had tried to push for an answer, Arthur had still simply looked at him, words not seeming to be coming forth. Not wanting to wait around, Merlin had left, walked back to his chambers and practically collapsed onto Gaius as he had sobbed out how he truly felt about leaving.

He didn’t want to go. Camelot had become his home, he had felt happier here than he had ever done in Ealdor. Despite the secret he had been keeping, he had felt like he belonged here, at Arthur’s side. He had friends, he had people relying on him, and now he was preparing to leave that all behind. But he knew that he couldn’t stay. Being in the same room as Arthur made his body react in ways that Merlin never knew was possible. He knew what the problem was though. If he had truly hated Arthur for what had happened, he would have been able to deal with it all.

But he didn’t. Somewhere in his mind, Merlin knew that he still loved him. He was afraid of him, afraid of what would happen if he should stay and they let their feelings come forward. He knew that Arthur now felt the same way, but Merlin wasn’t sure they could ever go further. Not after what had just happened. How would they be able to kiss, or be with each other intimately when, because of Morgana’s actions, they had both raped the other?

Being close to someone and fearing/loving them in equal balance was driving Merlin mad. He couldn’t imagine that it was any easier for Arthur either. He had to put some distance between them, had to let one emotion or the other take the lead. If it was love that won over, he would one day return and take his place by Arthur’s side. If it was fear… at least Arthur wouldn’t have to worry about Merlin’s magic reacting out in defence, for the warlock would not return if he never got rid of these feelings.

Gaius had understood and told him that he was doing the right thing, but that hadn’t helped. Merlin had to keep telling himself that this was what he needed to do as he had packed and it had given him the motivation he needed to get through it all. But now that he was done, he had no idea what he was supposed to do next. He wasn’t even sure that he could go home, for how was he supposed to explain to his mother why he had left Gaius?

“Merlin?” Said warlock didn’t hear the door open until Gaius was sitting on the bed next to him, one hand resting lightly on his ward’s shoulder.

“You have everything, my boy?” Merlin glumly nodded, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Part of him wanted to go and say goodbye to Arthur, but he knew that would just complicate matters even further. He needed to leave now, before Morgana realised what he was doing and tried to do something to destroy him one last time. He had to get away.

“Where will I go?” His voice was a trembling whisper and Gaius’ hand tightened in sympathy.

“Ealdor?” Merlin shook his head and Gaius sighed. “I’m sure you’ll find somewhere, Merlin. A man of your talents, there will be a home waiting for you out there.”

“No. There might be a place that can offer me shelter, but Camelot is – and always will be – my home.”

“When will you return?”

“When the time is right.” Merlin didn’t want to promise anything one way or another. He didn’t want to tell Gaius he might never come back, but he also didn’t want the old man to get his hopes up that Merlin wouldn’t be gone long. The warlock simply had no idea, he was going to be gone as long as it took him to recover. Gaius made to open his mouth to say something, but the sound of the door to the main chambers opening instead made him stand up and hurry away.

Merlin had made it quite clear that he didn’t want anyone to know that he was leaving, and Gaius was planning to distract whoever it was. Letting his eyes glow, Merlin shut the door behind his mentor in order to have a few moments in peace. He could even leave now, while Gaius was distracted so that he didn’t have to say goodbye to the man who had become like a father to him.

Sighing, Merlin stood up. His bag was small and light, yet Merlin felt like it weighed more than he could carry as he tried to shoulder it. He knew it was his body’s way of telling him not to go, but he couldn’t put it off any longer. He _knew_ this was the best thing to do, he had to go.

Checking one last time that he had got everything that he needed, Merlin didn’t hear footsteps on the stairs until his door burst open violently. He knew without turning it wouldn’t be Gaius, there was no way the old man would open the door like that. Glancing over his shoulder, Merlin sighed.

“I’m not letting you leave. You can’t go.”

Merlin should have known. There was no way Arthur was just going to let him walk away without having the last say.


	25. Chapter 25

“It’s not your decision to make, Arthur. Step aside, let me go.”

“No.”

“Arthur…”

“You’re my servant, therefore it is my decision to make.” Merlin sighed as he slowly put his bag down on his bed and turned to face his master. Arthur was standing directly in front of the door, his arms folded across his chest and a look on his face that made him look like a petulant child. Despite knowing Arthur would do him no harm, Merlin still had to block from his mind the image of the last time Arthur prevented him from leaving his room. That was the night he knew that he was officially in trouble.

“Are you going to stop me, Arthur?”

“If I have to. I can’t tell you to keep serving me, that’s not fair. But you don’t have to leave Camelot, Merlin, this is your home. Gaius needs you here, I need you…” The final part of the sentence was added on so quietly that Merlin shut his eyes and breathed deeply. He knew that Arthur was telling the truth, he needed him. The vulnerability was obvious for everyone to see. But Merlin had made up his mind. Staying might help Arthur heal, but it wouldn’t help Merlin. After the way he had used magic against the prince earlier, Merlin knew that he couldn’t risk it.

“I’m sorry, Arthur. I’m leaving.”

“No.”

“Arthur, I’m sorry. But you can’t stop me from leaving.” Merlin turned to pick up his bag and heard Arthur take a step forward. It was enough for him to spin back around, letting his hold on his anger snap. This was why he had to go. The anger was constantly there, bubbling under the surface, and Merlin didn’t want to hurt anyone. This time, however, his eyes were burning and his hand outstretched. Arthur had just enough time to recognise the magic before he found himself pinned against the wall again.

“I know you, Merlin. Lashing out because you are afraid, it’s alright…” There was no fear in Arthur’s eyes and he wasn’t struggling against the magic. He was just watching Merlin closely, gauging what his next reaction would be.

“No, Arthur. I have enough power to never be afraid again, it is you that should be afraid.” Merlin’s whole body seemed to darken as he advanced on the prince. Power sparked off him so strongly that Merlin knew Arthur would be able to feel it and he didn’t let the gold leave his eyes.

“Merlin…”

“Don’t you understand? You should be trembling at my feet for what you did to me!” To all extents and purposes, Merlin looked as if he was losing control as the pressure pinning the prince increased. But little did Arthur know that the warlock was more in control than ever. He knew precisely what he was doing and how far he was going to take it. He needed to get out of Camelot before this anger truly consumed him, but he knew that Arthur was not just going to let him go. Unless he could truly make the prince afraid, it would all be for nothing. He had to make it look as if the magic was greater than him.

“I know.” Arthur’s voice was meek and quiet and Merlin snarled.

 "You don’t know anything.” His hand rose and Arthur was dragged up the wall. He gasped for breath as the pressure on his chest was increased, but there was still no fear. In his head, Merlin cursed Arthur being able to hide his emotions so well and sliced his hand through the air. Arthur’s shirt fell to one side and Merlin approached with a predatory gleam in his eye.

“You don’t know what I could do to you. What I _should_ do to you…” As he advanced, Merlin stripped away the rest of Arthur’s clothes. There were bruises adorning the prince from when Merlin had forced him down on the altar, but Merlin found himself frowning at older ones on Arthur’s thighs. It was as if someone had dug their nails into the flesh there, and despite everything that had happened, Merlin knew his struggles had never marked Arthur.

Morgana had done this.

Bile rose in his throat, and now more than ever Merlin knew he had to convince Arthur to let him leave. Morgana would have no reason to hurt Arthur if Merlin wasn’t there as a target. He moved forward again, cupping Arthur and watching the man squirm.

“My magic is stronger than hers, prince. Imagine what I could make you do that you would have no idea about. You wouldn’t be able to fight back, you wouldn’t even be able to breathe without my say so. I would have you kill your own father, then take his throne for myself. I’ll fuck your pretty little mouth while sitting in the throne you were born to take.”

Finally, Merlin got the reaction he wanted. Arthur tried to glare, but his eyes had widened in fear. Merlin immediately backed off, letting go and redressing Arthur with just a wave of his hand. Although he loosened the pressure holding the prince against the wall, he didn’t let him go completely.

“And that, Sire, is why I have to go.” He muttered quietly, hearing Arthur’s harsh breathing behind him.

“I have to gain control of what I’m feeling. If I don’t, I would end up doing those things without realising that I’m straying down that path.”

“Merlin, no…” Arthur was struggling harder against the magic now than before. Merlin shouldered his bag, moved to the prince and cupped his cheek gently.

“Let me go, Arthur. Please. You have to let me go.”

“Will you ever come back?” Merlin dropped his eyes, unable to answer that. Arthur’s breath hitched, but he managed to roll his head and gently kissed Merlin’s palm.

“Just make sure you stay alive, damn warlock.” Arthur muttered and Merlin smiled. He knew that was the closest he would ever get to Arthur saying he wanted him back. He turned and walked out of the room, only properly releasing the magic when he had made it to the forest.

 This was his new beginning.


	26. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all of you who have stuck with me through this. It has been an interesting experience to write, simply because it has taken me way out of my comfort zones. I'm so grateful for the feedback and all of your comments, it has really meant the the world to me. Thank you. Hope you like this last chapter.

It took a month for Merlin to realise it had never been Arthur that he was angry at.

It took four before the nightmares stopped plaguing him every night and forcing his magic to act out in a way that he couldn’t control.

It took eight before he was able to start getting control over his anger.

Stories sprung up wherever he went, the wandering traveller that just drifted from place to place. He knew that they must be getting back to Arthur, he had caused too many things to happen in his wake for people to not sit up and pay attention. People healed, crops blooming… the magic spiralling out of his control with every step meant he seemed to just be radiating healing magic with having no idea what he was doing. It was only as he began to grown calmer and therefore stronger did he realise, knowing his body was now so desperate to keep itself from going through agony like that again it was making everyone else heal as well. The magic was out of his control, and that was why Merlin knew he couldn’t return to Camelot.

It scared him, quite to what depths his anger had taken him to. He knew that it was deeper than that, that some part of him had opened that he would never be able to close again. The first time a bandit approached him in a forest, Merlin hadn’t even given any warning but simply killed the man with a single thought. He had spent the night retching and shaking, wondering what was happening to him. But the more he travelled, the more he learnt, and the answers were provided in a group of Druids that helped him to understand.

His magic was a part of him, but it was also part of the land, it went a lot deeper than just his own power. The attacks had chipped away at the barrier that normally separated him from the power of nature, but it had eventually snapped and allowed the pure fury through. Their words had terrified him and it had taken three elders combined to use their power and send him into a deep sleep before the trees had stopped trembling.

Merlin had stayed with them for a few months. He didn’t realise they had been looking for him after hearing about the healing that was taking place. They told him that, for some reason, the Knights of Camelot hadn’t been sent to investigate the blatant use of magic, but Merlin had just smiled gently. That had been enough for him to know that Arthur was keeping his word and keeping his secret safe. What the prince was doing in order to keep the reports from his father, Merlin didn’t know. He was just grateful Arthur hadn’t tried to come after him until he got the anger under control and stopped it from consuming him.

But the few months were what Merlin needed in order to learn how to control this new depth of power. He worked harder than he had ever worked before, but he knew that while this fury still burnt within him, he would never be able to return to Camelot or to Arthur’s side. The Druids had been astonished and alarmed simultaneously about how quickly he was managed to gain a grip on his power, but Merlin knew he had no choice.

Morgana was still in Camelot. Arthur was still in danger. He couldn’t return to save his destiny if he wanted to destroy everything in the process.

Not that that stopped him from looking out for Arthur, however. He might have been forced to run from Camelot, but that didn’t mean he had abandoned his destiny. Just because Arthur wasn’t riding out after him didn’t mean that he wasn’t going about on his normal patrols. Merlin had no idea whether Arthur could feel the eyes watching him as he rode through the forest, or whether he noticed that any trouble they came across was dealt with far quicker than his men should have been able to do. Every time he felt Arthur’s aura moving from the castle, Merlin found himself running to get a glimpse of his prince, to make sure that he was safe and well.

The magic allowed him to travel to Arthur’s side. His new powers scared even him when he stopped to think about it. The Druids said that the anger would now always be with him, this sort of magic wasn’t supposed to be revealed through acts of hate and he would bear that mark for ever. But they had taught him how to calm his mind, how to stop the magic from consuming him every time he grew annoyed. Admittedly, the first group of thugs that had tried to attack the prince had met a very gruesome end, but Merlin knew that it was getting there. Magic might never be permitted in Camelot while Uther was alive, but he knew that couldn’t stop him from returning to Arthur’s side.

Now that the magic was beginning to come under control, he realised that he was still deeply in love with the prince. He was no longer flinching from him in his dreams, no longer wanted to shield himself and hide away. Instead, his dreams had changed, often leaving him aroused and grouchy in the mornings after yet another night of being in Arthur’s arms and knowing it couldn’t come true.

It didn’t matter how much control he mastered. While Morgana was still in Camelot, he couldn’t return. His magic had only just calmed down to the idea of Arthur, he knew that he would never be able to control himself around the witch that had caused all of this to be possible in the first place. He also knew that there was nothing he would be able to do to stop her. If he killed her, he knew that Uther would have him hunted and executed, chasing him to the end of his days. If there was a way of simply persuading the king of what had happened, he knew that Arthur would have already done it.

He had to remain in hiding for all of their sakes. But then, one day, he just happened upon news that changed everything.

Morgana was with child.

Uther was apparently absolutely livid. His daughter would have been one of the greatest prizes his kingdom had to offer with her hand in marriage, providing of course she was still untouched. Many of the old kings they could fool, but once her stomach began to swell, the changes were too noticeable. He was sending her away to one of the far off estates to have the child. It simply depended on whether his anger had reduced or not that determined whether she would ever be allowed to live out her days in Court. Merlin knew the witch would not be content with a life in exile and would be more dangerous than ever, but that wasn’t the only thing that was concerning him.

Morgana was with child…Arthur’s child.

Merlin had known as soon as he had heard the news. He had known all along that Morgana had been using Arthur for sexual pleasures while she had him under her control, Merlin had just been refusing to think about what that might mean. But he knew as surely as he knew the sun rose in the east and set in the west. The babe growing within her was Arthur’s.

He just didn’t know if Arthur knew.

In a way, he was sure he did. Arthur would have kept a close watch on Morgana after Merlin had left and would have known if anyone had visited her bed. He too was also aware of what his sister had done to him, of how many times she had forced himself upon him while he had been helpless to resist. Maybe he had known all along, maybe that had even been what she had been after when she had forced him to the floor and ridden him.  If Arthur hadn’t worked it out, Merlin was sure Morgana would have been goading him, telling how sinful he was getting his sister pregnant despite the fact Arthur had had practically no soul at the time and no control over what was happening in the slightest.

All Merlin knew was the second her carriage left Camelot, he would be entering.

Everything he had learnt over the last few months was nearly destroyed when it took almost a week after the news had broken for Morgana to leave. Merlin had spent the whole time right on the edge of Camelot, almost dangerously close. One day, he was sure that he could sense the witch’s magic, and knew in return that would mean she would sense his. He wasn’t sure whether Uther would still listen to her or not, but Merlin knew he couldn’t risk it. He had backed off, stealing into the trees and watching from afar. He wanted to see Arthur, he wanted to know how his prince was handling what was happening on top of everything else. But he had waited this long, and he knew just a few more days and he could be back by Arthur’s side.

With Morgana gone, that would be possible. But he still had to wait, had to know that she was gone for sure until he made his move. It happened at dawn, the fifth day after Merlin had returned to Camelot and the seventh since the news had broken. Plainly dressed guards gathered in the courtyard as Morgana left. She was taken in a carriage, shielded and guarded from view. Merlin had no idea whether she was even going to let herself get to her destination or whether she would seek a new path before then, but he didn’t particularly care. He knew that she wouldn’t hurt her child, no matter who had sired it.

But as soon as the carriage had rolled out of Camelot, Merlin had run in. The side gate on the eastern wall fell open quickly at his burning gaze. No one saw him as he ran through the once familiar corridors. Merlin had to fight in order to stop the smile from spreading over his lips. He had long since come to terms with what had happened, it had only been the uncontrollable anger that had prevented him from returning. He needed to be with Arthur.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that the prince’s door was locked. One heated glare later and it swung silently open, Merlin slipping in with a grace he certainly hadn’t possessed when he had been in Camelot before. He might have only been gone a few months, but he had a changed a lot since then. He had aged. One did not go through what they had and not be a different person because of it. Arthur only heard him when the door locked behind Merlin again.

The prince spun around, his eyes wide until he saw who was standing there. Then it was almost as if he forgot to breathe, and Merlin knew in that one glance Arthur had been through the same journey he had. Each had come to terms with what had happened, each had managed to push to one side what they had been forced to do. Each realised that they were still in love with the other.

“Merlin…”

Arthur’s voice was breathless and Merlin found that his knees almost gave way. How long had he been waiting to hear that, afraid of it actually happening in case he wasn’t in as much control as he thought? But the anger was perfectly in check and he must have stumbled more than he thought, for Arthur’s arms were suddenly around him, supporting him and holding him up. As soon as Merlin felt his senses return, his body must have taken his own weight for Arthur made to pull away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think…”

“Shh. It’s okay.” Merlin rested a finger against Arthur’s lips, staring deeply into his eyes. It had been far too long since he had seen Arthur looking back at him like this. Not only since he had run, but long before that as well. He could barely remember when it had just been them skirting around each other before Morgana had intervened. Arthur seemed to be searching his eyes just as intently as Merlin was looking at the prince’s, and the warlock felt his breath hitch when Arthur gently took the finger still resting on his lips and sucked it into his mouth.

Instantly, Merlin felt his body react. How long had he dreamed of this, of wanting Arthur to look at him in this way? The first time the prince had slammed him over the table and forced his way inside, Merlin had thought that would be it forever. But it was incredible how much healing a few months could do and he pulled the finger out, surging forward and claiming Arthur’s mouth in a kiss. For a split second, Arthur froze and Merlin wondered whether he had misread the signs. Just as he made to pull back, a tongue slipped into his mouth, both of them battling for dominance. But unlike before, it was done with small smiles on their faces.

Arthur broke the kiss, his hands skitting over Merlin’s waist as he dropped to his knees, working the laces free of the warlock’s breeches and teasing them down his legs. His hot breath over Merlin’s already straining cock made him gasp and Arthur looked up at him through his eyelashes.

“Is this..? I mean, I should have asked, I don’t want…”

“Arthur, please…” Merlin whined, holding himself back for fear that Arthur would take his actions the wrong way, but having had enough of them dancing around each other. It was over and in the past and Merlin could tell by the look in Arthur’s eyes that he needed this as much as Merlin right now. Arthur smiled, leaning forward and engulfing the head of Merlin’s cock in his mouth, his tongue lapping at it. Unable to stop himself, Merlin entwined his fingers in the prince’s hair, but made sure that he kept himself still. He wanted this so badly, but knew they were walking on a very thin line as to what was allowed. Even so, it took no time at all until his breathing began stuttering and his fingers involuntarily tightened.

Arthur pulled off, and Merlin knew that he whined again.

“Fuck me.” The prince murmured, stripping off as he did so. Merlin just stared at him, his trousers around his knees and his face flushed.

“Please, Merlin, come on…” There was a needy note in Arthur’s voice that Merlin had never heard before but he knew what it meant. Arthur wouldn’t take him, not yet. Merlin wasn’t even sure if he was ready for that. But the prince was more than content to let Merlin take him and the warlock needed no further encouragement. His eyes flashed and they were both naked, Arthur flat on his back on his bed. Merlin crawled up between his legs, coaxing Arthur into bending them and pressing them towards his chest. Merlin leant forward, stealing his mouth in a tender kiss as he slid a finger into Arthur’s body. His spell had caused them both to be slicked and stretched, but he wanted to do this properly. The way they should have done all that time ago. Arthur gasped and Merlin grinned against his lips, crooking his finger.

Arthur was a sweaty, panting mess by the time Merlin was up to three fingers knuckle deep in his arse, brushing against that spot every time he moved a finger.

“Just fuck me…” Arthur moaned and Merlin smirked. For a moment, he was going to tease a little more, but then realised he was so close himself it would never work. Arthur groaned as the fingers were pulled out, but then both of them vocalised what they felt as Merlin sank into Arthur’s body.

“Fuck yes…” Arthur instantly bucked his hips, forcing Merlin in deeper than he had intended. Merlin slowly began to rock, drowning in the noises Arthur was making and knowing that he was looking just as wrecked as the prince. He couldn’t last, there was too much between them in order to draw it out and it only took a few thrusts before he was beginning to lose control. Arthur didn’t seem to mind as Merlin sped up, his hands shifting to hold onto Arthur’s hips, their eyes never leaving one another. Merlin finally threw his head back, eyes falling shut as he shuddered to completion.

By the time he began to come down from his high, Arthur was watching him hungrily, hand striping over his own cock. As soon as Merlin locked eyes with him, Arthur let out a shout and spilled, coating them both. While Arthur was flying, Merlin carefully eased out. Before he could do anything else, a hand closed around his wrist and pulled. Merlin almost fell back on top of Arthur, but had no desire to move as a hand stroked through his sweaty hair and a pair of lips kissed his temple.

“Merlin, I…”

“If you say sorry, I’m turning you into a toad.” Merlin moaned, not admitting that he was snuggling into Arthur as he fell asleep. It was the safest he thought he had ever felt as he listened to Arthur’s heart rate return to normal and his breathing even out. Arthur huffed a laugh, but didn’t say anything. They were both relaxed and content as they drifted off to sleep, and Merlin knew this was it.

It didn’t matter what Morgana tried next.

She wouldn’t ever be able to drive them apart again, not now they finally had each other the way they were supposed to be all this time.


End file.
